Be Faithful With Who God Puts in Front of You
Back in May, I was on a flight from Europe to the Middle East. I was on the way back to my country after visiting my family in Europe. Sitting next to me was a girl from Germany and her sister, who were on their way to spend the next two weeks in Korea. Sophia and I talked for over half of our eight hour flight. We talked about anything and everything, from American and German politics, what our upbringings were like, pop culture, and all sorts of other topics. We talked about our favorite holidays, and one of my favorite holidays is Thanksgiving. Sophia said she has always wanted to… Read more
My letter to future Goers
It was some of the hardest months of my life--and I would do it all again. I faced culture shock, loneliness, language-learning burnout, interpersonal conflict, feelings of failure, hating my city at times, doubts about God, depression, anxiety, hopelessness... and I would do it all again. I am not the same person that left America 2 years ago. I'm more vulnerable. I'm more emotionally mature. I'm stronger. I'm wiser. I've seen more of what I'm made of and more of who God is (even through having many beliefs about him crumble). I see people differently. I see the world differently. I don't… Read more
For to You I Entrust My Life
"I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” - Psalm 143:8 This verse is on a card hanging on our fridge, directly across from where I sit for breakfast in the morning. For the first week of looking at it, what I thought most often when looking at this verse was honestly: “Wow, it will take forever for me to learn everything I need to know to translate that.” Look at it. You have the present perfect tense, you have a command with the word “should,” indirect and direct objects, a few vocabulary words I do not know in Albanian yet. And… Read more"Good and Terrible"
"People who have not been in Narnia sometimes think that a thing cannot be good and terrible at the same time. If the children had ever thought so, they were cured of it now. For when they tried to look at Aslan’s face they just caught a glimpse of the golden mane and the great, royal, solemn, overwhelming eyes; and then they found they couldn’t look at him and went all trembly." (C. S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe) God has been patient to teach me (as many times as I need--which seems to be many) to fear Him above anything else. He is a God worth fearing, one that leaves me… Read moreLearning to Seek The Spirit
I’ve recently found myself convicted about the ways I seek out and listen to the Holy Spirit. Throughout October, my home church has been encouraging us to earnestly and wholeheartedly pursue the Spirit in all that we do. As I’ve spent time reflecting on the sermons both in my own quiet moments with the Lord and in my weekly small group, it’s become clear how little I feel I know about the Spirit. Especially when it comes to seeking Him. At the beginning of the month, I began reading through the book of Acts, hoping it would help lay a biblical foundation for understanding the works of the… Read more
God's Constant Presence
To be completely honest with you, life here has been beautiful, but also tough and emotionally heavy for me. The more time I spend here getting to know the beautiful people God has placed in my life here and the precious women we serve, the more it hurts to see them in pain, difficult situations, poverty and prostitution. I spend a lot of time with the Lord processing this over and over again; mostly with tears, often with anger. I don’t understand how He could allow the human beings He created with love and in His image to be caught up in such darkness. I feel like a simple answer to that… Read more
Hobbies
A dear friend, older and wiser than me, told me to bring my hobbies and passions with me into a new culture. She had lived in multiple countries in the Middle East and said her love for painting and drawing has helped her build relationships and kept her afloat emotionally in tough times. I took her advice and have found ways to pursue activities I enjoy in a new context. A few months ago I joined a girls running club. Once a week we get together and run three or four kilometers. I ran cross country and track in high school before getting into weightlifting while in college. When I… Read more
"I Think I Could be Brave Enough"
"I think- I don't know- but I think I could be brave enough." (Lucy, from C. S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) I told my mom when I was a little girl—five to be exact—“I want to be a missionary when I grow up.” Honestly, I don’t even remember it—as far as I know, I have always had a burning desire to be somewhere else, where there are people who have never heard the name of Jesus, and to proclaim Him there. I’ve always wanted to go, and I’ve always known that desire was from the Lord. I took a class called Perspectives on the World Christian Movement that challenged me with a… Read more