To be completely honest with you, life here has been beautiful, but also tough and emotionally heavy for me. The more time I spend here getting to know the beautiful people God has placed in my life here and the precious women we serve, the more it hurts to see them in pain, difficult situations, poverty and prostitution.
I spend a lot of time with the Lord processing this over and over again; mostly with tears, often with anger. I don’t understand how He could allow the human beings He created with love and in His image to be caught up in such darkness. I feel like a simple answer to that question wouldn’t do justice to what so many people here have lived through. So maybe that’s why He never gives me one.
What the Lord does give me, though, is an acute sense that He is on the floor, sobbing with me. That as my heart breaks, it’s a small reflection of the way His own heart breaks. Through His own presence, and the presence of family and friends (especially my parents, who are always on the front lines weathering these storms with me), God comforts me and walks alongside me through the pain. He reminds me that there is still good in this world and it’s worth fighting for (which also just happens to be my favorite line from The Lord of the Rings, one that has served me surprisingly well over the years).
In fact, Jesus is both the good that still exists in this world and the good we long to see. He promised He will overwhelm everything with His goodness one day; He will make everything new. To cling to this truth, I’ve been listening to “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” on repeat—I highly recommend Shane & Shane's version.
To each person in my life–each one of my answered prayers–thank you for helping me turn my eyes upon Jesus by reflecting His love, kindness, generosity, and care.
And that’s who we are for the Amadas (the beloved women we serve) too. We’re the people in their lives who remind them there is still good in this world and help them turn their eyes upon Jesus.
During outreach one day, one of the Amadas begged me and one of my coworkers: “Don’t abandon me, never abandon me.”
Thanks to God's constant presence in our lives and theirs, we were able to tell this woman, “We won’t abandon you.”