Class of 2018
Youth development in Bulgaria Track: Youth Development
Region: Europe
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Not Just Two Years
God's chosen path
Posted on November 9, 2020
I don't believe there is one path chosen for us. I don't believe there is one path that is the best. I believe we choose every step. That God simply loves us. That he is pleased with us. That no matter what decision we make "good" or "bad" God steps with us. I believe he knows our pain better than we know it ourselves. That He cries for us and with us. That he is the first to sit down with us and just sit for a while. That he just wants to be with us. How could someone who loves us so much have a designated path for us that he doesn't give us the directions for. There isn't a wrong path.... Read moreI trusted God
Posted on November 9, 2020
When you decide to serve God, you trust him to take care of you. Don't you? What if he doesn't. Not how you you expected him to. Not how you trusted him to. That's been my experience serving God in Bulgaria. Many times it didn't feel like God was taking care of me. I felt no love. I felt only pain. Pain that didn't have a sensible answer or reason. Maybe God didn't cause the pain, but he didn't stop me from feeling it. I've come to understand that pain isn't the enemy. It just feels like it is. Pain can be a door, if you are willing to open it. Read moreBeing Strong
Posted on June 20, 2019
June 19, 2019 So this last Sunday, Penacost Sunday, I was battling within myself. A week prior I had been asked to share my story with a small group and so I had been thinking it through and trying to decide how much to include. This had caused me a great deal of stress and so that week many things had reminded me of my story and set off a chain reaction of me thinking through my personal trauma. This had reached a fever pitch by Penacost Sunday. I was so torn between the freedom of giving my story to Christ and the fear and shame of telling my story to people I barely knew. During the... Read moreI Learned Something
Posted on June 20, 2019
June 18, 2019 Feeling loved and safe is, and always has been, my number one priority. Feeling disapproval equated to not being safe and therefore needed to be avoided at all costs. It was explained over and over to me in Church that I could not earn God’s love. The only way I was comfortable receiving love was through earning it. So hearing that I couldn’t earn God’s love was not comforting. I couldn’t accept any free love because it wasn’t dependable. God was like a parent who obviously loves their child, but is never pleased with them. Never being enough and not being able to do anything... Read moreBuilding for the Next Step
Posted on June 20, 2019
May 23, 2019 Looking back on the last three months of waiting, I am so thankful that I’m not the one in charge. Even just this last month God has shown me so many things about myself. God is so actively moving in the stillness. I had realized that I constantly reflect and mirror myself to the people and situations going on around me. I was able to start questioning that reflex and very actively working against it. Picture always needing to feel approval and striving for it whenever it is not felt. So in situations that are predictable and comfortable it is generally easy for me to do this,... Read more