I am here. Suddenly, I don't feel so alone. The reassurance seeps through my entire body and I breathe a sigh of relief. The Lord called me here, He wants me here, and by His strength, I can do this.
It was a long journey from the moment I applied to be a goer. I remember sifting through the placements trying to find my place with the questions swirling in my mind. Did I make the correct decision to stop pursuing a seminary degree? Was I ready to give up everything and move away from home, from my family? But, in the haze, there it was. An opportunity in North Africa with the Languages-Linguistics tract. I couldn't believe it. There was need right now. I had spent so long convincing myself that planning to serve the Lord with what I was currently doing was the right thing when really, He was asking me to serve Him now.
The initial application was submitted, I waited for some weeks for a follow-up. It came and the interviews began. Every time, it felt like the Lord was lifting a heavy veil that I had covered my own eyes with. The very people group I have been broken over for so long, desiring to share with them true hope and the astounding love of a good God were open to us coming now! During my first meeting with my sending organisation, I fell in love and my heart was filled with gratitude. Here were individuals who shared my heart for the people living in closed countries, the people who came from the great patriarch Abraham and yet, are so far from his God. Here were individuals who were willing to dedicate their lives to this people group by learning their language and their ways just for a way to build relationship and identify in some way with them. For did Jesus not do it for us?
I remember that day when my sending organisation accepted me as a member. There was no doubt in my mind this was the team the Lord already intended for me to join. Nevertheless, I was still grateful and felt honoured. The preparations for Go-Week began in the Summer. From a list of books to read, assignments to complete, to actively bidding farewell to my short life in seminary. Everything became real so quickly and I started to feel overwhelmed, uncertain, and alone. The questions came like a flood, such as how I was going to support raise, whether people would want to partner with me by giving, and whether I even understood the point of support raising. I had read The God Ask, I understood and believed that God would provide, but there were days where it was difficult to hold on to the truth.
Solomon said in Ecclesiastes, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up” (Ecc 4:9-12). We were made to be in community with God and with one another. Christ’s church is comprised of many individuals of all nations, we build up one another and we bear the burdens of our brothers and sisters. So, I am here at Go-Week. My fears have begun to dissipate. I understand they will come back, but now I know that I am not the only one God has called to sacrifice for His kingdom. He was always with me just as He promised and, in His kindness, He has placed me among those who know and understand this current stage of my life.
“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
Acts 20:24