Sometimes as I find myself sitting in seasons of waiting, such as I have in recent months, chaos seems as if it comes and goes in waves. At one moment, all feels at peace, and it’s easy to sit and declare my trust in the Lord and where He has me. Other times, it feels like I’m sinking in an ocean of impatience and everything around me is in utter chaos— my emotions, my relationships, and even the way I carry myself in day-to-day life. The latter weeks of August have felt like this ocean I can’t help but sink in, no matter what I do in an attempt to pull myself out.
I’ll be transparent when I say this isn’t the first time I’ve found myself stuck in the waves of chaos. Though I will say that this time around, the Lord has allowed me to lean into the toolbox of healthy coping I’ve been developing over the last few months, making the waves feel slightly more manageable. About a month ago, I felt the Lord urge me to pick up running and exercising again as a way to worship Him through caring for my body better. Running has been a vital part of not only my physical health this last month, but also my mental health and navigating life’s natural ups and downs. Getting to go out, run, and spend time processing various aspects of life with the Lord has provided the opportunity to lean into the truths of His character we read about in the Bible. Consistent exercise has also given me tangible reasons to give God praise and glory when the enemy attempts to use the chaos of life to try to disguise the many blessings right in front of me. These are ones I’ve been able to sit with and remind myself of day after day— I have the breath of God in my lungs, my body is healthy and able to move and exercise, I live in a place where I can linger among the Lord’s beautiful creation of nature.
While the waves of chaos aren’t easy to navigate by any means, I’ve surely been learning how the Lord keeps me from drowning completely and that there is always a reason to give Him praise. David’s dual holding of lament and praise in Psalms, especially Psalm 63, has been something I find myself returning to consistently in this season as I remind myself of who God is and all that He has done.
“On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:6-8