What makes support raising so challenging?
The hardest part of support raising isn’t the work itself. It’s not the hours put into calling folks and setting up meetings, it’s not pouring my heart and soul into a meeting with potential partners, it’s not even getting a “no” from someone. The hardest part of support raising is feeling alone and misunderstood. The devil seeks to kill and destroy. We know that. But what we often forget about is that the devil doesn’t always look a little red dude with horns sitting on our shoulder. It can also look like comparison, isolation, and unreasonable doubt. In this blog, I’m going to share some of my experiences with spiritual warfare during support raising.
And if the idea of spiritual warfare is new to you (don’t worry, the church I grew up in didn’t talk about it either), please don’t walk away just yet. Stay with me, and take a read because this is important. Plus, if you are on my prayer team, this will help you better understand some of the challenges I’ve been facing recently and how you can pray for me.
Comparison
Sometimes I talk to other missionaries and I walk away going, “Wow, I feel so seen and heard. They get it; I don’t have to explain the highs and lows.” And other times I go, “Woah, they are doing so much better than me. I must not be as good at support raising as them. I feel worse now than before we talked.” Sometimes a tinge of jealousy goes through my mind because I too want to be making faster progress on my support raising. Deep down, I am genuinely happy for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are succeeding in their funding goals! So why do I feel this icky jealousy boiling up in me sometimes?
Well, that feeling certainly doesn’t come from Jesus. It comes from the enemy. One of Satan’s best tools in spiritual warfare is comparison. We typically believe one of two lies when we compare ourselves to others. Comparison either evokes a prideful response (I’m so much better!) or a jealous response (why can’t I be as good as them?). God has something better for us!
In Numbers 13 we learn of Moses sending out 12 men to scout the land God had promised His people. They reported back telling of a land full with larger armies and stronger soldiers…they were like grasshoppers facing giants. However, if we keep reading, in Numbers 14, we hear the full story. Two of the scouts later tell Moses even though the land is full of soldiers and fortified cities, “…the Lord is with us. Don’t be afraid of them.” God is more powerful! He gave His people the land, as promised. The scouts who compared themselves to the other soldiers were wrong in their comparison (even though it seemed so true to them in the moment), and it cost them an opportunity to enter the land God wanted to give them. I don’t want to be like those scouts who let comparison convince them they weren’t good enough for God’s plan to be successful.
May the Lord continue to remind me of His truths and where He’s called me, so that I do not fall into the trap of comparison. I want to experience the fullness of His plan for my life and this ministry because I know His plan is ultimately best.
Isolation
When I made the decision to pursue missions for two years, I was surrounded by people who love me, follow Jesus, and had personal exposure to missions. I had a tightly-knit Bible study with incredible friends. My church staff was pouring into me as an intern and supporting me as I explored what it means to pursue vocational ministry. I had some older women who were walking through challenges with me and mentoring me. Then I graduated and moved away. My faith community built during college was suddenly much harder to access.
Now, I’m caught in a sea of trying to raise up a team of ministry partners, while also forming connections and developing new friendships. And I’ll be perfectly honest, I feel weird making new friends in this season because I don’t want people to feel like I just want to be friends since I need funding to go to Austria. In reality, I want a community in which I can just exist and be my authentic self. You know, the type of community where you can say, “wow, I had a hard day,” and you don’t feel guilty about not plastering on a smile for the sake of making others feel good. (As a recovering people pleaser, being authentic in the low moments is hard for me! I want to support others, and I worry my low moments are a burden.)
Satan has been very strategic in isolating me by using my specific fears. He is trying to prevent me from achieving one of my very goals for this ministry—to build community so young Austrians can experience Jesus. Talking about money makes me uncomfortable and I am/was (depends on the day) nervous people will think I’m just after funding instead of genuine friendship. So for a while this fall, those fears won and I avoided building community. Without the support of my people, it was really easy to get stuck in a negative thought pattern. God knows this too, and He instructs us on the importance of community. In Romans 12, we learn that God designed us all to be different parts that form one body. We can’t function in isolation. We’re better together. It’s all over scripture! From the very beginning, even before the fall of humankind, people have needed community.
It is not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18)
Two are better than one… if either of them falls, his companion can lift him up (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a)
Iron sharpens iron. (Proverbs 27:17)
One of my favorite verses also serves as my ministry mission statement. Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.”
Satan tries to tell us we are weak for needing support, but that is a lie. God designed us to support and rely on each other!
Unreasonable Doubt
God doesn’t call us to blindly follow Him. Having questions and going to God with our doubts is healthy. It helps our faith grow! That is not what I’m talking about here. I’m referring to when you get stuck in a pattern of self-reliance, of having doubt without going to Jesus and genuinely laying your worries at His feet. When you face a challenging period in your faith, the devil is right there, ready to offer ideas alongside God.
When I focus on Jesus, I ask questions like, “What do you have for me today, God? Where are you calling me?” When I let my mind wander away from Jesus, I begin asking questions more along the lines of “Why am I not where I want to be? Am I even good enough to be a missionary?” Now the Lord welcomes all of our questions, but you’ll notice Satan pushes me to be more self-centered. I doubt God because I have a better plan. I know where I should be. I think there is something better (read:easier) I should be doing.
God wants me to recognize my worries and present them to Him, but not stew on them. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). He says, come with your doubts and I’ll be patient with you. Jesus had a disciple, Thomas, who wouldn’t believe He rose from the dead until he saw it himself. Yet Jesus welcomed Thomas' doubt and clearly appeared to him, showing the gash in his side, so Thomas could understand (John 20:24-28). God welcomes our doubt. However, He doesn’t want it to consume us and prevent us from trusting Him.
We must take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 2:15), and ask where our doubt is coming from…a place of wanting to grow and understand, or a place of destruction. Why would God so clearly call me to missions and then call me unworthy? Well, that unworthy label probably isn’t from God.
Tools to Overcome Spiritual Warfare
- Spending time in the Word regularly to be reminded of God’s character and history of faithfulness
- Memorizing manageable portions of scripture so it’s written in my heart
- Humbly crying out to God in prayer and drawing near to Him
- Intentionally cultivating Christian community and showing up authentically
- Celebrating the small joys every day…focusing on the good has a way of robbing Satan of any power