Has there ever been a time where you think that God is asking too much of you? The sacrifice is too big, the work is too hard, and you feel that your life would be better off if you took back the reigns? Yeah me too… That’s hard for me to admit, but it’s true. I’ve been struggling with the knowledge that I will soon leave my family, friends, and fiancé for two years to follow God’s calling on my life. There have been times when I want to just say “No thanks, God. I’m good with my life here!” and walk away. When I encounter these moments of doubt and heartache it always helps me to take a step back and go to the Lord. So I spent a whole day in prayer and times of silence, trying to hear what the Lord was saying to me. I secretly wanted His answer to be “Of course, you should stay home! It would be too hard to leave your life behind for two years.” But obviously, that wasn’t the answer I got. If I desire to see God’s blessings in my life I must be obedient to what he has called me to. I do not doubt that God has so much good in store for my future, but when it doesn’t feel good I need to remember the things that He has taught me over the past few months:
- Following Jesus isn’t supposed to be easy - We are called to lose our lives for Jesus’ sake, to die to ourselves daily (Luke 9:23-24). We are called to live as imitators of Christ, so if Christ suffered, grieved, and endured hardship during His life on earth, why should I expect to be spared from that? If I suffer for the sake of the gospel, it will have been worth it.
- The choice to live by faith has to be made daily - Many people treat living by faith as a new years resolution, only lasting for a short time and then fizzling out. To truly live by faith, the choice has to be continually renewed and intentionally lived out.
- God’s plan is perfect - As much as I wish my path was different at times, I know that what God has for me is so much better than anything that I could ever dream up.
- Obedience brings blessings- The Lord has promised to bless those who live in obedience to Him (James 1:22-25). If I were to disobey what the Lord was telling me to do in favor of my desires, I may be temporarily happy, but that is nothing to be compared to the joy and peace of living in the center of God’s will.
- The Lord is our refuge- God doesn’t promise that we will never face storms in life, just that He will be our ever-present shelter and strength in those storms (Psalms 46:1). Through all of my indecision, fear, and doubt the Lord has never left my side. He continues to give me peace in knowing that He is sovereign over all things and can no doubt use my imperfect self for His good.