It’s funny that I can’t remember exactly what sparked my indignation and frustration. Especially because I absolutely adore my host family and my two young host sisters. But as it goes, and potentially more so living overseas, straws have been known to break the backs of camels.
It could have been that I made plans to take my host sisters somewhere and I’d cleared my schedule or that we were going to bake something together and I’d bought all the ingredients only to have them change their mind. It could have just been that I wanted them to come over to play and they didn’t want to. I don't remember the circumstance, but I do know that I was feeling like my worthy intentions were rebuffed.
I was standing in my kitchen, looking at the closed door to my host family’s side of the house and thought to myself: Do you know what I gave up, what I sacrificed to be here? To move here? To dedicate hours to show you love and care? To spend my time with you? To never lock my door, and let you come over any time you like? I could be at home spending time with my two real sisters… with my own family… with my own friends. I indignantly thought to myself that if only they knew what I had given up to come be with them, they'd appreciate me more, appreciate my time more.
I was immediately stopped in my tracks when I felt the Lord say: Do you know what I sacrificed to be with you?
Instantly I was struck by the magnitude of the Lord’s sacrifice in a new way. God sending His Son to be written off, persecuted, and eventually murdered by those He came to love. Jesus entering a world completely foreign and much less comfortable than His own dwelling place. Living with people with the desire to love them and share truth, only to be despised and misunderstood by those he came to serve.
As I dropped to my knees in my kitchen, I painfully felt my sacrifice absolutely pale in comparison to what Jesus gave up for me. Now it’s true. It does take sacrifice to serve globally. It’s hard in a lot of ways. Even when its good, its often still hard. But He is worth every sacrifice I lay down, so that by His grace, my host family and others in this country might come to know what He sacrificed for them.
If you are considering going, it's not always easy, but it is always worth it. Going has transformed my faith and my relationship with the God who would send His son and with Jesus sacrificed everything to go.
For those of you who are praying and partnering with me and or with others on the field, all I can say is thank you! Thank you for your sacrifices. They are not unseen or unimportant. They too are worth it.
*The attached picture was taken as I raced down the street with my dear host sisters and our neighbor. I treasure them deeply and pray that they come to undestand His sacrifice. I'm grateful for the ways God uses them in my life to humble and teach me daily. And for the laughter and joy they bring to life.