On January 21, 2018 I arrived in South Africa for a semester abroad. Over a span of those three months I grew in very substantial ways, but as is often the case, my growth came from a myriad of challenges. And I can’t help but feel the similarities between my preparation for that season and now as I look forward to a new cross-cultural experience. As I was reflecting on the similarities, I pulled out my old journal, and stumbled upon an entry I’d like to share.
February 24, 2018
I am learning so much about poverty, poverty alleviation and social justice; I am learning that God works in ways that are subtle and slow; I am learning that leaving in a few weeks is overwhelming because I don’t feel there is time enough to engage these things fully before I go. So God I pray for the trust to just experience what You have for me. I pray to be grown in the ways You have planned. God give me peace and comfort in You that comes from laying my fears and concerns and worries at Your feet. God take the pressure I feel to make something of this experience and direct it to healthy ways of seeing and recognizing You at work. I pray that I fully surrender to the work of Your hands not my own.
This was written as I felt fearful and overwhelmed by the thought of living life post-South Africa, that I wouldn’t be able to do justice to the experiences I was given, or that the growth wouldn’t last. The beauty of looking back on this journal entry today, is seeing how incredibly faithful God is and the ways He met every fear, how He continued to foster my growth, and how He used those challenges to bring me to where I am right now.
So now, as I’m a month and a half out from my departure to Central Asia, I am so grateful to have seen God’s intentional grace and consistent faithfulness in and because of my study abroad. I have such a deep peace knowing He will continue to be faithful in this next season. When I feel familiar feelings of fear, overwhelm, inadequacy, whatever it may be, I trust that the Lord will bring me through it. It’s almost as if I’m expecting de ju vu, but I’ve seen what comes from it: He will bring me to exactly the place He wants me to be. For my good and for His glory.
Praying you see His faithfulness,
Evelyn