I’m officially a month and a half out from my first ‘leave.’ In mid-February I head off for two weeks of training with my sending organization. And by mid-March, I should be off for Central Asia! I might be able to come back home in between both of those ‘leave’ dates, but it will likely be down to the wire before I know for sure.
With that being said, the goodbyes I’ll have to say have been heavy on my heart and mind. And in some ways it’s harder because I don’t know when that last goodbye will be. The moments with family and friends have become simultaneously sweeter and somewhat tainted by my expectation of fast approaching goodbyes.
It’s a hard dynamic to hold in tension. Enjoying time with those I’m closest with, and making sweet memories. And knowing that soon I will be far away for two years. Being excited about this upcoming adventure and opportunity. And dreading the goodbyes I’ll have to give. Leaving versus going.
I am dreading having to leave. To say goodbye to friends and family, to be far away from everything that is familiar to me, to miss out on my sister’s high school graduation, to be unable to see my grandparents for two years. It feels like so much to leave. But I am so excited to go. To kick off this new season, to join my team, to build relationships, to learn about my position, to get work with local communities. It’s been a year and a half coming and I can’t wait. I’ve been doing a lot of prep work for this season, and while there’s still some things to finish up, I am so thankful for this season where I get to process what leaving versus going means to me.
So far, I know it means I have been immeasurably blessed and that I have so many unknown and exciting things to come.