A global pandemic.
A time of political unrest in the last country I ever thought I would want to serve in.
A God whose plan is WAY bigger than mine.
These factors play into where I am, but they don't answer the question of how I got to the point of serving in America in the midst of it all. Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Originally, my placement with GoCorps was in another country. My plan was to go to the nations, but through a series of events, I ended up feeling called to serve those coming FROM the nations to our very own home turf in Phoenix, Arizona. Sometimes when I wake up, look out my apartment window in the inner city, and ask myself, "How did I get here?" the only answer I can come up with is, "God."
For the last 5 months, I have been teaching, serving, and living in community with refugees in Arizona. This change in my GoCorps placement was unexpected but it couldn't have come at a better time. As countries around the world shut their borders, I was able to start my ministry. And, as someone whose heart is burdened for racial reconciliation and how minorities are treated in the United States, I have been able to be present in this hard and historical time, living, working, and praying in the middle of it all. My original plans look small in the face of what I can already see God doing in His different but better plan for my life.
I plan to share more about what life has been like for me as I serve refugees and reach the unreached in Phoenix in future blogs, but for now, I want to emphasize the importance of holy indifference—a term I learned while training for this position. Indifference in this sense does NOT mean complacency, but instead means being detached enough from the things, people, or plans we hold dear to be able to either pick them up or leave them aside, depending on whether they help us to “to praise, reverence, and serve God” (Spiritual Exercises, 23). In other words, holy indifference is the capacity to let go of what doesn’t help us to love God or love others while staying engaged with what does. As I held my hopes and desires for what I originally wanted my ministry to look like up to the Lord in holy indifference, He allowed the result to look much different and much better than I could have ever expected. And THAT is how I ended up in Phoenix.
If you are weighing any important decisions while reading this, I urge you to offer your plans up to Him in the same way. As scary as it may seem to loosen your grip on our desires, it is the Lord's purpose that will ultimately prevail, whether you hold things open-handedly or not. He has a plan to reach every tongue and tribe and nation for Him and He wants YOU to be a part of it. Our purpose on earth is not to have the best, most put-together plan. Instead, it is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (Westminster). And THAT is worth holding plans loosely for.