For the past few months, my wife and I have been preparing to raise our financial support in order to spend the next few years serving God's global purpose overseas. Psalm 78 has become a bit of a theme for me over this time, specifically verses 18-29.
Psalm 78 (ESV)
18 [The Israelites] tested God in their heart
by demanding the food they craved.
19 They spoke against God, saying,
“Can God spread a table in the wilderness?
20 He struck the rock so that water gushed out
and streams overflowed.
Can he also give bread
or provide meat for his people?”
21 Therefore, when the Lord heard, he was full of wrath;
a fire was kindled against Jacob;
his anger rose against Israel,
22 because they did not believe in God
and did not trust his saving power.
23 Yet he commanded the skies above
and opened the doors of heaven,
24 and he rained down on them manna to eat
and gave them the grain of heaven.
25 Man ate of the bread of the angels;
he sent them food in abundance.
26 He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens,
and by his power he led out the south wind;
27 he rained meat on them like dust,
winged birds like the sand of the seas;
28 he let them fall in the midst of their camp,
all around their dwellings.
29 And they ate and were well filled,
for he gave them what they craved.
It all started with some car troubles in early July. We owned two cars at that time, and we needed both until the support raising season would start in earnest in September. So, we made plans to sell one of the vehicles at the end of August; we had a buyer lined up willing to pay us $3000. Then something unexpected happened. The car we were planning to keep started making some unsavory sounds. We quickly took it in to the mechanic and they informed us that the timing belt system was faulty and needed to be replaced. So, we scheduled a time to get that done and promptly parked the car in the garage to wait. When the day came to bring the car in, I gently pulled out of the driveway, eased it onto the highway, and as I was driving it to the shop the engine made an abrupt clunking sound and stopped running. The car wouldn't restart. I was stranded.
After getting the car towed and inspected we were informed that the timing belt system had failed while I was driving, and that had caused further damage to the engine, rendering it irreparable. Now, we were not just out a car we needed, but out $3000 we were planning on having while preparing to leave the country. I was angry. Angry at myself, the mechanics, and at God. I was confused. Why would the Lord take these things from us, when it seemed to me they were valuable resources? I was scared. What were we going to do?
Within one day of the breakdown, however, the Lord had provided another car for us to use through my good friend Brad, and God began the amazing work of revealing the lack of faith in my heart. Us losing that car was not a surprise to God. And His plan never involved us having that $3000 dollars. He had been planning to provide for that specific need longer than either of us could have imagined. The Lord always knew that he was going to lay it on Brad’s heart to lend us that car, even before Brad and I met 5 years before. And that is just one small example of the Lord’s provision to us.
My anger and fear were a result of my doubt in God’s ability to truly provide. My confusion was a result of my focus on what we were going to do and what He was taking, instead of on what He was doing and what He was giving us. I was asking if he could provide in our seemingly impossible situation; “Can He spread a table in the wilderness?” The answer to that question is always yes. He can. And His faithfulness is not dependent upon ours (thankfully). God’s purposes are unchanging; God’s promises are unchanging; God’s love is unchanging; God’s perfections are unchanging. His inability to change gives us the ability to trust in Him supremely.
Since then there have been a few moments where I felt like there was no way our needs could be met: doubts about being able to raise all the support we need, thoughts that there is not enough time to do all that needs to be done, questions about housing, and more. But, the Lord has been reminding me that what I am really asking in those moments is, “Can the Lord spread a table in the wilderness?” The Israelites had forgotten the amazing ways that God had provided for them in the past and abandoned their faith in future grace. My prayer is that my wife and I—as well as others we know raising support—would have a spirit of remembrance and be filled with faith in God’s future provision.
“Can the Lord spread a table in the wilderness?” Yes, He can. And He always provides for His children.
--Richard
Photo by Kassem Mahfouz on Unsplash