This blog is going to be a mixture of my thoughts, but they feel more like secondary sources. The ideas stem from God's Word, prayer time (Holy Spirit), noticing and filtering Peruvians culture with my American mind, a Francis Chan book called Letters to the Church, and awesome conversations with Sophie. This post could almost be called "Book Club: Dos" (which the first one is on our blog at themccanns.blog) but so many of the thoughts and passages in the book resonated with me beyond the main purpose of Chan's book, which is stated here in Chan's words: "My goal is to get you dreaming, to keep you from settling, to affirm that nagging sense you can't shake that God wants something more for His Church than what you're experiencing." As I'm writing this I will decide what to add about the book at the bottom, but for now I just want to share my heart. For the five months we have been gone, I have five things that God has been putting on my mind and heart.
First off is a topic of identity in a way. I enjoy working hard, doing my best, and especially in the context of helping others. However, and kind of ironically, this can in a way become all about me. In the context of representing Jesus and what the Bible says I can start thinking that how I act or what I do is so important. I place pressure on myself to love well and make others feel good. I often have this feeling to want to impact each person I'm with, but sometimes when not a lot comes to mind it's easy to feel inadequate. I'm working on trusting the Holy Spirit and whenever there's a moment with anyone, I will trust Him and simply behave and love how He made me. Hopefully the result is that each of you will see less of me and hear less of my words but rather Jesus will be on display. Furthermore, Jesus was straight up rejected, hated on, and killed. If I'm trying to do or say the right things with fear of not being rejected, I'm probably not reflecting Jesus. So yeah, I'm working on simple obedience and starting to care a whole lot more about how God views me from above than being a cool guy. Hopefully those go hand in hand as Jesus was the coolest, but I guess that depends who's talking.
The second point isn't so much identity but more how I've been formed by my upbringing. I was (and am) a goofy guy that sometimes does crazy things, but I did used to be a momma's boy too. Even now traditions, rules, and "doing the right thing" battle with being relatable, funny, loving, and respecting anyone's thoughts, even if they're crazy. Both of these sides are in all of us and Jesus displayed them all. However, I've lately realized those traditions or rules are just what we think of as Christian culture or just the expectations of behavior in the Midwest. Francis Chan says this in the book, "Honoring the traditions made the Pharisees feel like they were obeying God when they actually weren't." Maybe the tradition is good, maybe it's goofy, or maybe it actually hurts us. Either way, attaching this to following Jesus can create way too much tension with topics like if someone has a certain drink, takes a certain medication, leans toward Calvinism or Arminianism, or votes a certain way. It breeds judgment. Obviously there is wisdom with many of these decisions but let's not get stuck never questioning if maybe Jesus would have handled these situations differently. Yes the other belief that anything and everything is fair game is dangerous and Chan brought it up too, "What matters most [in today's world] is that you love who you are. When we start operating like this in the church [or among believers], we begin catering our theology to people's desires and ultimately their sin." If loving who you are causes you to get drunk whenever you want, depend on a substance, judge anyone that's not "progressive" or "fundamental" like you, or really just makes the world all about you, Christ is no longer the center. I am trying to love better, but more importantly I am trying to keep God's Word sacred. Yes, I've always said that I live to glorify Him, but to actually live like it. Therefore, amongst doing the right thing and yet being goofy, I am trying to live by what His Word says and not what tradition directs or what makes a person "feel" good. One topic Sophie and I have discussed is the logic of a decision versus the holiness of God's Words as Christians, with an example being the environment: do I think it is better that animals are mistreated or nature destroyed and polluted for the sake of providing a job (my logic), or is it more important to follow God's command in caring for His creation and reconciling it (His Word)?
Alright I'm writing more than I thought, two more slightly shorter paragraphs and then the finish line. The next two points are also very similar and kind of blend together. The third that God has confronted me about is materialism and comfort, or in other words, living a consumerist lifestyle. I'm not saying I was struggling with wanting the best car, upset I'm not working a high paying job, or constantly indulging in any food my mind craves. There's no jealousy there. Rather, it has been about good things with almost a sense of entitlement. I should go to "or deserve" a church that fills me up. It's good for me if I receive and keep up to date on all the recent sports, economic, and political news. If things aren't as efficient as they could be (for my sake), then something should change. Maybe even that hearing God's voice was only His job, and not me setting aside the time to listen. I realized my attention span was less and less...and this transitions to the fourth point: being away and isolated has had an awesome impact. So many things grab for our attention and having a few months with a much more narrow focus convicted me that I was (and still can be) a passive consumer. While maybe I can handle the input of many things and still maintain friendships, have devotional time with the Lord, and quality time with Sophie, there isn't room to thrive where it's most important. No one thing was an idol, but my desire for information and entertainment passively became a choice over Godly things. Now, my goal is that they - things I enjoy spending my extra time on - will purposely be chosen, not slowly but surely consuming each moment. Is watching each game worth it? Is responding to each text? Is being up to date on social media? Is filling each awaken minute with studies and gatherings? "It" being a quality and restful relationship with Christ, friends, family, and even your/my own well-being.
Fifth point is about the gospels, all about Jesus. After finishing about three books of the Bible I cycle back to reading one of the gospels. Right now it is Matthew. Some highlights I've read in the last month that have hit me will be listed with Jesus's example that's impacted me alongside the verse.
- Respecting authority now matter who it is: "Therefore render to Ceasar the things that are Ceasar's, and to god the things that are God's" (22:21).
- The intensity He dealt with the Pharisees and the scary question: Do I ever side more with them than with Christ? "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves" (23:15). Wow.
- Not getting carried away with the wants of this world. "For where you treasure is, there you heart will be also" (6:21).
- Replacing the feelings of defensiveness or "teaching a lesson" with love. "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (5:44).
- What I said in my first point about rejection. "And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet wen you leave that house or town" (10:14).
- Like the previous paragraph, that rest is so important. "Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself" (14:13).
- Taking responsibility of what has been given to me, especially the opportunity to be here in Peru. "For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance" (25:29).
Well if you are still reading I would say it's time to again recommend someone with much more graceful words than me. The Letters to the Church is an incredible book that definitely directed my thinking and many awesome conversations with Sophie. Who knows, maybe we will start a church one-day. Read the book and that might make more sense too. If so this would be the goal, "Remember, it's not about what I would like, whatever others would like, or what 'works.' Church is for Him" (Chan).
"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:10
-Matt