There is a phrase Christians use, “all due in God’s timing” it is meant to emphasize our Creator’s might and power, and really in brief explains how we’re simply vessels for His greater glory. For since He created the heavens and the Earth He also created time and a right and just way for it all to work out.
This goes with saying that God tells us not to worry, for He is able to have all of creation flow beautifully, He is able to feed the birds in the sky, He created symbiotic relationships between remora fish and manta rays. If He has created it all to work in harmony, then surely us, who were made in His image, are to flow in this harmony as well. This is a hard concept for us as humans, for us as Americans who have the “can do” attitude with all our metaphoric bootstraps we feel the need to cling onto. When I sit in prayer and rest in His presence, it all still seems impossible, and I often times blow up the worry and stresses that reside in my heart. I have this desire to fix or solve a problem, especially being a workaholic, such as myself, to wait upon the Lord is SO much easier to type than it is to live out.
I have felt these restless, stress-filled days this month. All I could do to reassure myself is that I want to be obedient to this call, this spark, that has ignited so deep in my bones, a spark that I can no longer ignore. It is this call, to leave all I find comfortable and go.
At the beginning of December I was a little less than 50% maybe a modest 45% of raised funds. I felt like a failure, like I wasn’t doing this right. I had attended a training session but what shows for it, if I’ve spent two months support raising and I’m still not even half way funded. Words of encouragement felt empty and me the “hard worker” had meager results from my work.
I didn’t get it.
90% of young adults who support raise with go corps are fully funded in 12 weeks. So why would I be part of the 10%?
I didn’t get it.
When I am stressed for long periods of time, I either get angry or I get manic. Let’ say the second week of December I reached manic. It was almost like an “I don’t care” attitude more like a “I’ve got nothing to lose” attitude. I realized the only thing stopping me from going was this lump sum of money. I’ve read bible verses and testimonies that reassure the thought, “God is in control of money” I mean He created it for crying-out-loud. I gave money such a title in my life, such a high pedestal - I made it an idol and I cowered beneath it.
Such a lesson to learn.
I have my awesome relationship with God and I’ve got an amazing community pouring into me, why didn’t I clean off my glasses and see that?
I had this revelation on a Sunday.
I kid you not. I said this revelation aloud on Monday to a group of friends, and that Tuesday my donations almost doubled. I was over 50% and Wednesday I was 75% funded. This was my second week of December. I was terribly frustrated that Saturday but was rejoicing with my small group that next Wednesday.
December is almost over.
I am over 91% funded.
I was able to rest over the holiday, peacefully. I have submitted almost all of my paperwork with my organization. I’ve got medical clearance. I am just seeking out a few more monthly donors for my support team, and I am all set to go.
My anticipated departure date is January 20th, 2019.
Godwilling my friends will pray me out, Godwilling I will have supper a few more times with my friends, Godwilling I will attend a few more bible studies, Godwilling I will cherish the last of the Java-ing with Jesus, Godwilling I will pack up my life and toss it in my mom’s attic, and Godwilling I will respond to this spark and go to Mexico City and serve with Avance discovering new friends, amongst a new community, a new culture all just to go where I am called and to see God make all things new in Mexico City.
Cheers,