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Thus Far

Posted on Thursday, October 18, 2018

I remember the first time I heard this question -

"Maddy what was the highlight of your week?"

This question was coming from a dear friend of mine, she was so incredibly busy yet made time to really dig deep in the five minuets we shared before her next task. She was always intentional when she would ask this question, and I would watch how others would respond to her question. She would never take a vague answer but always dig deeper until she was satisfied. I soon fell in love with her intentional question that left the door of transparency so wide open. I adopted the question she would ask and learn so many things about people I thought I knew, and learned very deeply and quickly where people felt hurt. I often enjoy this question with people I am meeting for the first time as well - I really want to throw first impressions and formalities out the window and know who each person is in the image of God and how are they truly doing, and how are they truly seeing the world.

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I am a little over a month into support raising for my trip to Mexico City, and it's beautiful to see the transparency so many people share with me. I am typically so clouded in what I am doing and where I am going that to start off almost each meeting with that question, "What was the highlight of your week?" allows me to walk in their shoes, even if only for a moment. It's baffling to me how many people where already walking and praying along side me before I asked them to join my support team. These meetings with my personal community have really allowed me to savor the moments I get to have with each individual. These meetings help me recognize the high quality friends I have filled with such love, silliness and office quotes. 

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Throughout this season the Lord has given me multiple confirmations that this is where I am to go, and this is my next step, which is crazy, but I also hurts a little because I hear the call to community so loudly in my soul, however, the Lord has called me to this transient lifestyle. I grew up in a military home, where every few years we packed our belongings and relocated. Granted I never disliked this, moving frequently is all I’ve ever known. Even while in school and post school I moved almost every six months. No, not to a different dorm room across campus, to a different state on my own. 

It’s exhausting, painful, exciting, and my version of normal. 

I can adjust to a new environment very, very, very quickly. 

I want to love my neighbours, I want to sing with them. 

I want to bring my friends over. I want to feed them. I want to laugh with them. I want to pray with them. 

But 

HE HAS CALLED ME TO GO. 

All that I do in every location, can be forgotten even my little afro can be forgotten, but I do not want the neighbours and friends to forget about my Lord and Saviour. 

I want to be remembered by my testimony in where the Lord moved. 

If there’s an inkling of a memory of who I am I want them to remember my intentional love.

That I loved Him and them, because love is the aim. 

This call to “Go” is not a new one to me, it’s been resting in my soul for a while, and when called I act. 

I am still very much filled with human emotions and I catch myself being a little frustrated and melancholy.

I want to go to the same coffee shop.

I want to see the same faces.

I want to drive a car. 

I want to own a year lease. 

I want to buy the same produce every season. 

I want to have a dog. 

I want to attend the same annual gatherings. 

I want to plant seeds and see them grow. 

I want to have many instruments. 

I want to have furniture.

I want to have a room filled with plants.

I want to have tea parties.

I want to sleep in.

I want to have the same group of friends, for years and years and years.

I want to feel the mundane. 

I want to have Mondays. 

There may come in a time in my life where I have the same predictable schedule. 

However these thoughts are terribly selfish. 

I truly honestly want to not give up, to give into these selfish thoughts. I want to do God’s will. Time and time I hear the calling to be His vessel and to go share the love he has for all his children. That desire overpowers any other desire in my being. 

I want to be obedient.

 

Thank you for allowing me to be transparent, I challenge you to ask your loved ones what the highlight of their week was, because when asked how was their week “good” is a common answer - sometimes “okay” comes out then press in further what made their week good? or just okay? Sometimes highlights aren’t positive. My highlight is I’m realizing I cannot dismiss what the Lord has called me to, although it is incredibly tempting to. 

I want to love and be obedient.

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