Well, it is the end of week 5 of support raising! Yay! *I hope you hear the enthusiasm in my voice*
Honestly, it is cutting really close to my launch date. February sounds far, but it is literally right around the corner. And you know what? That scares the crap out of me. Now, I have the urge to try to get appointments set up, to do follow ups, make more phone calls, and to make sure I have my support. There is a lot pressure happening right now and I don’t think I can contain it.
But, surprisingly, things have not been rushed. I am getting appointments made, follow ups are doing good, and people have been returning my calls. And with the all pressure I was feeling before just got released. I had to remind myself that God’s timing is perfect. We have the tendency to believe that if we organize our life how we want it, it will go smoothly. But, that is not always the case. I had the same mindset that things were going to fall into place for me. Everything was set and all I needed God to do was make it happen for me. It did not go as planned and I began to panic. I started to question everything that I was set to do, and I felt like a failure. I did not believe that God sees my work, He didn’t see my time, He didn’t see me as worth my wage. I thought God completely forgot about me and I was not happy. But, I realized that I cannot rely on my own strengthen to get it done. God has the power to do all things because nothing is impossible for Him. He holds all things together and all I must do is believe that He does. God was doing a lot in me than I expected. Those road blocks were the only way He could get my attention back on Him and not on getting my tasks completed. I’ve been so driven to get my support raised, that I was forgetting the One who provides all my needs. The One who set this path for me. The One who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light. The One who sacrificed His Son to bore my sins on the cross. The One who loves me unconditionally. The One who does not change. The One who always keeps His promises. The One who is faithful.
My Savior, Redeemer, Creator, Father, Sustainer, Provider, Teacher.
God.
I put so much pressure on myself when I needed to give grace. God gives us so much grace, so why can’t we give grace to ourselves. I know God sees everything that I am doing and is pleased with it. I must remember that all this work is not being wasted. I trust in God’s timing because it is worth it, and He is worthy of it. What God has in store for my life is going to be revealed at the right time. As of now, He wants me to continue to seek Him and be transformed into being more like Him. Time may seem like it is running out, but God does not waste time because He is always on time.