Welcome to college! I know you wish that you were at a 4-year anniversary AWAY from Carbondale, but trust me, it’s better if you attend community college first for free before you decide to go into student debt (AH!). You can survive a couple more years in Carbondale. Besides, it’s almost like a whole different world on campus. You won’t even remember that you’re only 15 minutes from home (well of course until you go outside to get in your car, or look out the window).
Speaking of your car: Yes, I know you’re having troubles with your old car that your stepdad has given you, but hey, at least you have a car to get you to and from class. Trust me, you will have a new car by the end of your Sophomore year in college.
Oh and you thought I forgot about that boy you started dating back in June, huh? Funny you brought him up. Of course he has those sensitive dark eyes, light skin, perfect smile, and he is the perfect height -- but don’t let any of that fool you for what’s to come.
I told you that you would get that car! WHOA, you even have a 4.0 GPA. Wow girl, everything is going great for you! What could possibly ruin this year?
You graduated with your Associates in Arts degree, congrats! But hey...I know what you’re hiding. I know that deep down inside you are falling apart. I know that you are screaming for help. The boy that said he would stay with you, marry you, and even bought you a promise ring to prove it -- is gone. The one who said he would never break your heart and said he would never leave your side -- he left. I know he broke those promises. Not only did he break your heart, but he broke you. You were taught in school that diamonds are jewels that don’t shatter -- so how come there are pieces of you all over the floor?
You want to call and tell your biological dad what’s going on, but you don’t know if he even cares. I mean, he didn’t even show up to your birth, so why would he show up to your death? Oh, and let’s not forget that he didn’t even call you on your birthday. Ouch. I also know you want to tell your mom of the war that is waging inside of you, but I also know that you are afraid - so you keep it in.
I know about that bottle of pills you’re thinking about taking. I know about that car you thought about jumping in front of. I know about that sharp knife you found in the kitchen to slit your wrist with. I know about the anxiety attack you had that led you to the hospital. I know you told the nurse that you didn’t want to die, but I also know that wasn’t the truth. I know that you starved yourself for weeks. I know that you cried yourself to sleep. I know that you had a mental break down and cut your hair off. I know that you hate the way you look. I know about that one man who tried to rape you. I know that you are struggling with depression and anxiety. I know that you can make it….please hold on. I know that you are screaming and you think no one can hear you--but God can hear you. He hears your cry and He sees your tears. You may not see it now, but God has a plan for you.
Baby girl, “The Lord is near the broken-hearted; he saves those crushed in Spirit.” -Psalms 34:18
Somehow you made it this far. Somehow you got into SEMO last minute. For some apparent reason God has decided to keep you on this earth. You begin to question God and plan to take your life tonight, even though it’s the first night on campus.
But then, this beautiful blonde girl comes up to you at this sorority party. Of course you are only there because your roommate asked you to come with her. I know that you only said yes because you figured that you would try to have fun your last night on this earth. She continues to talk to you and eventually you start talking to her back. She brings you to this party, which later you find out that it’s a block party thrown by a campus ministry. Another beautiful blonde woman, who is in fact engaged, makes you promise that you will come to her wedding within a few weeks -- you make that promise.
You get involved with this campus ministry. You decide to stay alive. You give your life to Christ and your whole life changes before your eyes. You realize that Jesus is your strength, your deliverer, the One who rescued you. He’s your home, your redeemer, and His love has set you free.
Thank you for holding on. Thank God you are doing better and that you allowed God to keep and heal you. You are about to graduate with your Bachelor’s in Fashion Merchandise and Minor in Fashion Entrepreneurship degree. Of course you’re going to go to New York, Atlanta, or Texas to be a fashion stylist and then work your way up to start your own business...right? Actually, no.
You’re going overseas.You’re going to tell those people that they can make it, just like you did.
You’re going to go to an unreached city for two years. You’re going to give your life away to do something for Jesus.
Is it worth it? Of Course it is, because Jesus thought you were worth it when He died on that cross.