I am currently in week 9 of the support raising process. To call this a season of surrender is an understatement. I praise God for how He has provided and I’m happy to say that I am almost fully funded! I was so nervous about how this process was going to go. I am from a small town in Northern Minnesota, in the poorest county per capita in the state. God has been so faithful in this season and I has shown me the model of “the less you have, the more you give.” I am scheduled to be fully funded by the beginning of December and at my current rate will be over-funded! How great is our God?!
A supporter I had met with asked me, “How have you been grieving leaving the United States?” What an excellent question that hadn’t even begun to process. I was so focused on getting fully funded, language learning and spending time with friends/family that I never thought about what it will look like to leave. I sheepishly replied, “Oh, yeah. I haven’t. Uh, I guess I’ll figure it out when I get on the plane.” But I don’t want to wait. Although these next years are not long compared to the scale of life, it will be the longest time I will be away from friends, family, comfort, and my culture. I don’t want to board that plane and crash under the pressure of a completely new, unfamiliar atmosphere.
So how will I be grieving now? I prayed about it first and asked that the Lord would give me vision and drive for this season of life. I have had to surrender my expectations for ministry, my team, and my desire for control to Him. I have had to surrender my current relationships with people in the states as I know they will change. I will be forgotten by people that I used to spend a lot of time with. I will be uncomfortable and experience challenges that I have never expected or prepared for.
All these things I have prayed over and continue to seek the Lord in; that He would take me and my insecurities and transform me into a vessel to share His love and grace with people here, in the support raising season, and in the Middle East. I am confident that through the Holy Spirit God will give me grace to grieve and hold fast to His Truth and sovereignty.
To Him be All the Honor and Glory!
"Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ."
~ Philippians 3:20