I finally realized why I have constantly been getting turned around as I navigate one particularly busy and important intersection in Granada. That's a full-sized helicopter, by the way. I always told myself that "the helicopter points North." Much to my surprise, on my way home this particularly windy day in the city, I looked up and saw that the helicopter, this iconic landmark that I have been using to navigate my way throughout the week, was actually rotating in the wind! I had been misled time and time again because of my misunderstanding of the nature of this helicopter. I was putting all this trust in something that was constantly changing and steering me wrong.
That’s symbolic! Okay, that is definitely more than a little cheesy, but hear me out:
This was probably one of the hardest weeks so far. More responsibilities are being added on and decisions are having to be made. I am being treated like more of an adult now since I am more settled in (one month today!). Meanwhile, I still do not full understand everything that is going on half the time (like a baby) because I am still learning the language here. That being said, the stress is on and my relationship with God is complicated by my insecurities and anxieties.
The “tyranny of the shoulds” (props to psychoanalyst Karen Horney) is very much a part of a missionary’s life in times like these. “Am I doing enough? Am I learning fast enough? What should I be doing? How fast should I be learning?” And of course, seeing my peers with vibrant ministries and networks of relationships leaves much to be desired in my own life. I’m not feeling hopeless or wanting to throw in the towel by any means; this is just a little healthy reflection for your and my benefit. In light of this, where do I go? How do I behave? I’ve been here before, but this just feels… so different. Have you ever felt like this before?
Psalm 1
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefor the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.
This is the first psalm in our modern Bible. The language is very poetic and resonates with our experience of life both apart from God and close by His side. It speaks both to the depths of our depravity and to a vibrant life with our Creator.
So why did our “spiritual forefathers” choose to put this psalm first in line ahead of the other 149 psalms? You don’t need formal education in theology or biblical studies to know that, in general, things that come first or last usually are put there because they are of some importance of high standing. This Psalm is indeed very special. It hits on a key element that we see present in the rest of the psalms: holding to the truths of God.
What does this psalm say to us?
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked… but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.”
We are blessed when we find our delight in the truth of the Lord and when we meditate on it day and night. 1 John 3:20 says, “for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.” Just like David in many of his psalms, we cry out to God and tell Him EXACTLY how we feel and what we are struggling with because He knows all things and is greater than all things, even the shoulds we force on ourselves. However, just like David, we meditate on the truths of God and offer them as a response to our anguish and tribulation.
Take also Psalm 22 for example. David begins the psalm by crying out to God, “My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me.” Then, by the end of that very stanza David reaffirms the faithfulness of God in spite of what His situation looks like to Him, “In you our fathers trusted… and were not disappointed.” Again in verse 15, “My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue cleaves to my jaws.” And in response, “I will tell of Your name to my brethren; in the midst of the assembly I will praise You”(v.22). The back-and-forth that David struggles with is a picture of our experience with the Lord and our environment. So, it is no wonder that Jesus, showing His full humanity and His full trust in His Father, recites this psalm from the cross. Jesus calls us to trust in God, even when all the signs point to us having been abandoned by Him. God ALWAYS is faithful and redeeming of those who trust in Him. As in the resurrection of Christ, He is faithful in all things.
We need to regularly wash ourselves in the truth of this Gospel of Jesus. Our “delight,” our joy, our peace, is in the law of the Lord.” More specifically for us today, in the Gospel of Jesus Christ or “the law of the Spirit of Life” (see Romans 8:2).
All the scripture discussed here gives me hope and reassures me that we can count on a God who has been faithful through generations, even when things look bleak. This is a message worth sharing and a life worth living.
Pray With Me:
- For the Word of God to be lifted above all other things in our lives as Christ's people
- For the peace and confidence in the Lord to reign in this missionary
- For continue guidance and encouragement for this missionary in stressful times
*To support this ministry through financial contribution please see the green link on this page: "Support This Ministry"
** For More information on my specific assignment, see the following link to Avance España: https://gocorps.org/tracks/placements/n/9087556?platform=hootsuite