I’m listening to “Reason to Sing” by All Sons and Daughters right now. This was my ANTHEM this past year at school. It speaks about a desperation for the joy that Lord speaks of. I felt like dry bones in the desert every day. I ached for a rejoicing, but it seemed like there was nothing to sing about. I was wondering how that was going to affect the new season I was walking into; the season of preparation and boldness as I ask for money.
How redemptive it is that that song comes on as I start to write my first blog post GoWeek training. I’ve felt that I have nothing else but to sing. I am rejoicing for what God is doing and for what He is teaching me. He has been breaking down my pride and independence with comfort and faithfulness, and it is making me fall more and more in love with His character.
A huge reason why I couldn’t rejoice last year was because of my hope in the church, or maybe a better way to put it is my lack of hope. As I looked around at the American church, I couldn’t understand why people were neglecting missions! As I have been walking into the meetings, my reliance and faith in the church has gotten a complete Jesus reboot. It is so cool to see these people passionate about what I am doing and their excitement to give.
And I think everyone goes through this battle, but just to reiterate what’s been said so many times. . .this can NOT be done on your own schedule. This can’t be done with your own energy, organization, or presentational quality. It is seriously so dependent on Jesus. But it is one of those things where you can remind yourself over and over again that you have to rely on Jesus, but He is still gonna teach you that lesson on a daily basis. And the reasoning why is to show you that His faithfulness can NOT be put in a box. There is no box that can fit it! The truth of it stretches outside what we know and could fathom.
I am ready for God to continue to blow my mind. I am a little bit nervous cause I think that means that He is going to take me out of my desires. What do I desire? To be fully fundraised in a month. Well that time has already passed and I still have a lot to go. But His teachings and imminent presence in my life is far better than succeeding the goal now.