Last month was my one year anniversary in Mexico, and I can definitely tell because I am 5 times as busy now as I was at this time last year. I'm teaching more classes. I'm planning on running two different clubs in the school, and I've been helping my host family out with all of their things. Life is busy busy busy here. It can be overwhelming, but I'm loving it. I'm certainly never bored.
Thinking back over this past year, I realize that one of the main things God is teaching me is that love is a choice. The world today views love as an emotion. The world views love as something you feel, and when you no longer feel that "love", you're free to leave. That idea of "love" is not biblical.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friend." John 15:13
"While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
That is the kind of love that is biblical love. Giving up your life is a choice. Deciding to look past wrongdoings and react in a loving way is a choice.
Last year, I had problems with a few of the students. They were disrespectful, rude, and sometimes they were even purposely mean. Now those of you who know me well probably know that I'm insecure. I'm sensitive. As such, normally I avoid people who are rude to me. I will go out of my way to make sure our paths don't cross. I certainly don't feel any "love" for those people.
However, you can't avoid people if they are in the classes that you're teaching. You can't ignore the students you have in your class especially when the biggest class in the entire school only has 3 students. But most of all, you can't act like you don't "love" those students because they are probably the ones who need love the most.
With no avenue of escape, I discovered through prayer that I should act like I love those students even when I didn't "feel" like it. It was hard, but I made a choice each and every day to love those kids. I chose to contain my anger. I chose to respond with kindness. I sought out opportunities to speak with those students. I prayed for them daily. I tried to tailor my lessons to their interests. In order to do that, i made it my mission to learn about their likes and dislikes. I fought against my own human nature and cultural worldview in order to "love" those students.
It was a definite struggle. There were some days where I wanted to give up. There were some days when I failed to act in love like I should have, but I kept going. I kept loving them because that is what God told me to do. I learned that actions mean more when they are intentional. I learned that if you act in faith, God will provide the rest. I learned that there is nothing more valuable than being able to see how God has been working. I learned all sorts of things about my student's lives. Most of all, I learned that making the conscious choice to love someone is Always worth it.
I was able to see my students grow over that year. Looking back on how the year started and where we ended, it hardly seems like they're the same kids. They did mature during the year, but the main thing that changed was the way I viewed them. To me, my students are some of the most precious people in the universe. They are people that I would fight for, even against myself. They are people that I wouldn't trade for the world. Through faith I made sure my actions towards the students were loving whether the "feeling" was there or not. Through faith, I did my part then God supplied the rest.
Today, I do have that "feeling" of love for my students. I believe anyone who has seen me interact with them can testify to that. Loving people isn't easy, but my goal for this next year is to love. My goal for this year is to choose love. Every day I am going to make the choice to love those around me. I will do this to honor God, and I will do this because making that choice has proven worth it. I will do my best, and God will provide the rest