What I'm learning:
It feels that my time slows down while everything around me is moving faster as if I'm seeing rays of light pass by me. Constantly, new buildings are being constructed, style of dress is changing, families are growing, and neighbors are moving farther away. One of them being my team leader and his family. They have officially left for furlough and I am the only one on our team. I remember when I was told about this before I arrived here and the overwhelming emotions that were running through me as I, once again, was reminded that wasn't the intentions of neither God nor my team. However, especially with all my team members gone, one question has constantly been a heart-challenging topic God wants me to discern about.
"Where are you from?" "Who are you with?" These are just several ice-breakers people ask when strangers meet me for the first time.. Almost every time, same questions and my responses are almost identical. But there's one question I always hesitate and struggle to answer: "What kind of work do you do?" First of all, it's not that I forgot the purpose and the vision of why He led me here. The difficult part of answering that question is the complication of my identity and role in my team. With the NGO that I am with, I am constantly asked what kind of work I do. The reason I have struggled to answer with confidence was because I wasn't quite sure how exactly I fit in a NGO that heavily invest time and resources into engineering and water projects; it's easier for workers who have backgrounds in engineering because they are able to contribute more directly into the projects.
For example, there will be couple of recent graduates who will be joining out team here in Artesia in spring. I am grateful to see our team grow and God graciously blessing our team with recent graduates in engineering field. On the other hand, I'm puzzled when I think about my identity and what I have to offer to the projects. How can I contribute to the work and feel like I am part of it in this slow-fruitful season of language learning? (As I'm writing this right now, I took a break and spent some time listening to Him for I was overwhelmed with feelings of uncertainties. Let me share with you what He is telling me.) First, moment ago, Mr. David Playy was being played in my ear and he was challenging the congregation with these words of Mr. Donald Whitney:
"Reading the Bible was never intended to be the primary means of absorbing the Bible. Reading is the starting place. But meditation is the absorption of Scripture, and it's the absorption that leads to the experiences with God and changes in our lives that, we seek when we come to the Bible."
Then, when I asked God for a passage, He put John 15:3-6 in my heart:
"Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
I believe that He is inviting me to abide in His presence deeper through meditating in the Scriptures more. Not that everything is clear now, but the more time I spend lifting up, waiting, and listening to Him, I hear Him making my confusions and uncertainties clearer. He never fails to reassure me of His faithfulness and plans through His Word.
What I'm doing:
Just as I've been using language as one way to connect with locals, I have been able to deepen my relationships with my teachers this past month. From what used to be mostly listening to them talk, now I'm able to ask deeper questions. I've started to learn words and prayers for spiritual conversations on my own, and they have been a great tool for sharing and praying for the locals. However, surprisingly, many meaningful and fruitful conversations this past month happened in classroom settings. One day, in the middle of a lesson, a conversation between my teacher and I strayed to the death of Jesus. Now, as a trained witness, I was thrilled, yet surprised, with this opportunity. It was both an opportunity for me to learn and share the Good News to my teacher. Unfortunately, time was what ended the conversation, but for me, I knew the depth of my relationship with my teacher grew and God was starting to knock the cultural wall down and place trust in her heart. It was an incredible heart-opening moment as I felt the spirit move in the room. Another area that I got practice and share to others is through the music and prayer sets I got to lead and partake in.
I feel confident that one way He wants to use me in through mentoring the locals youth communities through music and discipleship. Discipleship with 3 boys have been continuing weekly and I have been seeing growth and fruit between the 3 of them. I also see more fruit to come as they transition into a new school year. 2 of them are preparing to transfer to college overseas soon and my focus with them is to disciple them to train others through obedience in the Scriptures. I am continuing to lead praise for weekly morning prayer sessions focusing on the unreached villages. And soon, I plan to start another prayer session focusing on the broken education system and outreach done by the teachers. I can see that He is building and equipping me right now for a potential role in youth ministry in the near future.
I also believe that with my team there and being part of another team for the next 4 months, this is an optimal time for me to receive training and gin wisdom in preparation for the coming season. With my current team, we focus on reaching the gypsies with The Gospel, whose living standards are extremely low due to discrimination. Basically beggars and homeless. We are seeking to reach the invisible and work with leaders within those communities who also desire to see change. Regularly, the team makes trips and spends a night bringing the Gospel to the most invisible groups. We use a process called DMM (more info to come about this). So, from 21st to 25th of this month, I will be going to Dubai to receive further training on starting these movements. The whole purpose is to start obedient-based discipleship process that results in mentoring emerging leaders through discovery bible study groups. Investing in several people to reach and train many is the type of multiplication we aim to see.
I'm constantly learning and being challenged. Many lessons learned and more to look forward to. He reminds me to embrace and enjoy this season/journey and look forward to His plans with the hopes of accomplishing them for His glory.
In the following month, I invite you to pray with me for the following:
- For the dynamics of relationships within families. There are a lot of brokenness due to disobedience, mistrust, abuse, adultery, jealousy, and more within the relationships in and between families. Also, due to the culture being different, most of these things go unspoken. Pray for reconciliation and chain-breaking freedom from Him. My host family is one that I've been able to witness with this chain.
- More of His grace and peace upon me and I walk the streets and talk to locals. Skin color and culture clash is still a huge wall for many locals, especially college students, when trying to connect with them. Pray for His light to be displayed rather than anger or shame.
- Opportunities and connections for future study groups to be started. The right leaders in communities may rise up and work together. For The Spirit to guide our work and to open the hearts of locals.
- Please continue to pray for my language learning progress. For my mental capacity and strength to continue learning. Quite difficult to juggle a new language in the mix, but I know with the help from The Spirit, I will be able to make a huge jump.
To all my family & friends, I am constantly thankful by all of you who are reading, lifting me up, and supporting God's work in any way. Thank you for your patient and understanding heart.