So it's been a while since I've written here...a full summer to be exact. My reasoning? This summer has been CRAAAZY. So busy, so full of growth and life and people. But so rewarding. I honestly feel like I've grown more in these past 7 months than I have in the past few years. This blog would be way too long if I tried to explain every single thing I've learned. So I thought I'd start with one of the first big things God hit me with upon arrival in Berlin. I touched on it briefly a few blogs ago.
The ministry I work with is called die Arche. It is an after school program for kids around the ages of 6 to 14. My job is to help them with homework, play with them, and build relationships. I absolutely love it. However, one thought plagued me from the moment I started working there: Literally ANYONE could do this job. Then I began sprialing, thinking, "Why am I here? Why are people supporting me to do this? Why did I travel across the ocean to do this when I could have found a similar program in the US? Why can't someone else from my church (in Berlin) do this...when they actually speak the language?" All of these questions were circling my mind day and night for a while.
Then the Holy Spirit hit me with the answer. An answer that I'm still uncomfortable with, but I'm trying to accept the truth of it. Maybe God placed me in Berlin, at die Arche, because I can offer something to the kids, to the ministry, and to the people of Berlin that no one else can. I get tense merely typing that. In our Christian culture, it seems so arrogant. So self-righteous. But God has created each one of us absolutely unique. Our Creator has placed us in specific places in the world, with specific people because He knows that through the gifts, talents, and personalitites that He's given us, He can use use us the most there. I think as Christians, we're always taught (or at least I have) to put ourselves down. I used to always repeat, "Less of me, more of Him." Which is totally true. But all my life my translation has been, "Beat myself down in order to build Him up." But the truth is, when there is less of me and more of Him, I become more of me. (In my mind that's really clever, I'm sorry if it's actually really confusing. It's probably more cheesy than anything. Dang it.) Basically what I'm trying to say is that Christ has given me a specific unique purpose at die Arche. That purpose is different than any other person's in the world. Yeah, maybe anyone else could do my job. But God has placed me there because He knows the gifts, talents, and personality He's given me are going to make the most impact with the relationships I form. I hope this all make sense to you and didn't come across arrogant or self righteous. Although I'm still learning it, this has been such a huge lesson for me. I just can't wait to see how else I'm going to grow in the next year and a half.
**The picture above is a portion of the Berlin Wall featured at the East Side Gallery. A quote that I think is very appropriate for this blog...and for life.