Two weeks ago when we entered into a new language phase, it said that we are going to begin to have more intentional conversations. I laughed at that, but then saw it happen.
This month, I rented a new house with the help of my leader, but for the most part, I understood it all and spoke for myself! Two of the influential-connector-men told me after a long conversation filled with laughter that I had a dangerous mind, one of my favorite compliments so far. I also get mistaken for someone from this region more and more. Overall, it’s just easier. I don’t get exhausted when I’m sitting in a room of people speaking that language after 5 minutes. My brain doesn't work so hard to translate, it just soaks it in and my brain just makes assumptions for the new words that are used. Last week, one of my brothers came over one night to see how our house was looking. He ended up putting up my clothes line and I just sat and talked with him about his struggles, his background, his marriage and other things that were overwhelming his mind. We had some tea and I prayed for him, fully in Arabic. It wasn't perfect, but nothing really is right now.
One of the hardest things for me has been learning to be patient with myself, God and the process that He is putting me through. I so desperately just want to be able to do everything right now. I want to be able to have full conversations about anything on my friends’ hearts without interrupting for clarification on a word. I want to have deep friendships and feel confident to go and do anything I want. But, that’s not how life goes. Life is a slow, slow process towards “getting it.” I will make mistakes on possessions (although I have stopped calling boys girls now!), I will mispronounce, I will forget words and get lost. But I am progressing and I have my friends to support and love me through it.
It’s hard to think that God can and is using me. The same me who laughs about zombies and jokes about being a cannibal before telling them I eat peanut butter with apples (gross! How dare I). But this process of slowly being able to tell people who I am (over the course of months) has allowed God to show who He is through me in a very clear way. He reenergizes me to try, He is teaching me to be steadfast, and He is teaching me to be humble: depending on him for strength and provision. There is no way that God, as big and great as He is, is NOT working through my slip ups and giggles and joy that comes from Him. I know He works through me when I speak english as well, but His power just a lot clearer when I speak like a 2 year old in Arabic and still make friends.