We’re gonna do a fun story today.
About a month ago I went to a retreat center in the country with some American friends. It’s nice to be able to leave the city every once in a while - it’s quieter out there, and the center has absolutely magnificent food.
When I was considering whether or not to come to the Middle East, one of the questions I asked was: what kinds of critters live there?
“None,” my leader said over our Skype call. “There’re none. Sometimes cockroaches. But that’s it.”
Now, since being here I’ve learned that there are more critters here than that: they’re just incredibly small, and like to live in your mattress and bite you when you sleep.
So at this retreat center, I was going to the bathroom one afternoon, and the toilet wasn’t flushing. A normal problem here, no big deal. That’s why there’s a five gallon bucket in the corner - so I can fill it up with water and dump it down the toilet.
So I picked up the bucket, and out came the biggest, blackest, nastiest spider I have ever seen in my twenty two years of life. Fist sized.
Now, you should know: I’m from the North. We don’t have gross critters where I’m from. It’s winter half the year - nothing has time to grow past the size of a dime.
So when I saw this spider, naturally I screamed and jumped on top of the toilet in the opposite corner. Fortunately my friend (who’s from the American South) was just outside the bathroom. She quickly asked me what was wrong. And I told her about the great beast that was positioning itself directly in front of the closed bathroom door, blocking me in.
She opened the door cautiously, and the the beast retreated into the corner of the room behind the door. Quickly my friend jumped through the door and had a look at it. “Wow,” she said. “That’s a big spider.”
She’s from the South. I clenched my toes a little tighter in my position on top of the toilet.
Thankfully, even though she wasn’t excited about it, my friend was brave enough to step on it for me. It was too big to die right away, though, and it took a couple of stomps. But it did succumb eventually. We left it’s carcass there behind the door and fled.
Later that evening, the black ants the size of thumbnails formed lines from the front door to the bathroom, and surrounded the crumpled spider. In the morning its body was gone.