It’s very strange being a young single woman in this country, unaccompanied by any relatives of any kind. I’m of prime marriageable age. And people here are baffled as to why my father would let me come here, without a guardian, at such a time in my life when I could be at home getting married and having babies, and otherwise doing my womanly duty.
Because of this, there are a few things I’ve noticed about being a young single woman in this culture. So without further ado, here are a few illustrations of what it can look like to be a young single woman in a Middle Eastern culture:
- You make a scarf. Your local roommate tells you it was so beautiful, and that clearly you would be a good wife and mother one day.
- When you go through security at the mall or the metro, no one gives you a second glance. But all the men have to be swiped with a hand held metal detector ;D
- When boys want to court you (yes, court), they have to go to your father first and ask. Or, if your father is in the U.S., he goes to talk to your teammates first instead.
- You go to an all women’s gym and learn how to belly dance.
- You have to cover your head and wear long sleeves when you put your laundry out on the line (just in case a man sees you from outside).
- You get shouted at as you walk down the street at night, no matter how you’re dressed (oh wait, that happens in every country).
- You offer men an assortment of drinks from atop the tray you carry out of the kitchen.
- You don’t answer the door if you’re home alone. Or home without a man present in the house (which is why your door never gets answered).
- Men offer you their seats on the metro, and may even pay for an empty seat on a micro bus just so you don’t have to sit right next to them.
- Men are very careful not to accidentally touch you in public places (unless, of course, they’re not).
- If men you don’t know call you “sister”, that’s good. If they call you “baby”, that’s bad. Very very bad. Walk away quickly.
- You bring your male friend with you to negotiate with the male land lord for your new apartment. Oh, and the male land lord is speaking on behalf of his sister, who is the one who actually owns the building.
- All the men who sell scarves in the scarf shops just don’t understand.
- None of your female friends come to your house because their fathers think you might have males over too. So you invite all of your male friends over for the evening instead. They can always come since they don’t have to ask permission from their fathers.
- You get to spend half the day learning how to cook all kinds of delicious traditional Middle Eastern food because men don’t cook - it’s always the woman’s job.
The best part about being a woman in this culture, though, is that it is sharpening my ability to know who I am and where my value comes from. I am a daughter of God no matter where I live and no matter how I dress. And all the young single women here are called to embrace that same truth.