I am currently writing this at training before I depart to the field in March! Praise God for full funding that exceeded even my biggest hopes and dreams. I am so honored that God has called me to serve to further His kingdom in North Africa.
I have been learning so much while here, but so much of the lessons that God is trying to teach me have been outside of the classes that training has consisted of.
Before I got here, God sharpened me in ways I did not think were possible. He taught me tools for how to manage my anxiety, to talk about things that made me uncomfortable, and to dive into the deep corners of myself that still needed surrendering. God has not stopped teaching me while I am here- even though I am learning so much in classes, God is still teaching me about how to best serve Him outside of my class environment. The biggest shock to me has been through rest, or a lack thereof, so to speak.
I am a major extrovert. I suffer from chronic FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) as if it physically affected me; I feel the draw and push/pull to be in a room where the people are. I resound with the Little Mermaid and with Fifel, the cartoon mouse in this regard. In the last few years, God has truly spoken to me in the midst of absolute silence: in prayerfully minded discipline or through the quiet, and I strive for the silence so that my soul can speak to God. At training, I have had an internal struggle: sit in the silence with God or be with my community having fun in the common area? What if I miss out?
I ended up catching a cold because I haven't taken the opportunity to care for myself, which has forced me to sit with God today rather than others. I did not know how much I needed God's stillness to heal my tired soul. The rest that I encountered today was necessary, and I felt the conviction that I need it more frequently. Even though I feel this constant pull to be with others, my soul needs the discipline of taking rest with God in the midst of crazy busy circumstances. I can honor God with my service more by cleaving to him in that regard.
While this lesson has been a hard one for me to learn and I am still in the process of learning it, God is still preparing me for my future ministry even now, and it fills me with major league excitement. I know that moving to a major city in a context where people are always with each other will be exhausting for me. Though I am majorly congested and there are tissues everywhere, I am thankful to learn this now rather than overseas. And I am thankful that there are an abundance of silly conversations for me to be a part of in my community here.