Skip to main content

Lessons Learned (typically the hard way)

Posted on Sunday, February 2, 2014

 I’ve had the sudden realization that while I’ve kept everyone updated on some of the inner struggles of my heart, I have never shared the lighthearted lessons I’ve learned here in Thailand.  I want to fix that this month!  So here goes some of my favorite lessons…or the ones I can remember right now.

 

  • Buses stop FAST!  Avoid elbowing people directly in the face or knocking groups of people over when you lose your balance.
  • If you sneeze or cough on the sky-train everyone will stare you down because you just got your germs on them.  Wear a mask you jerk!
  • Never reach over someone else’s head.
  • Never use your feet for anything or point your feet directly at someone.  It is the dirtiest part of your body, but the head is the highest/most holy part.
  • If splashed with water from the canal while taking a boat, wash immediately!  No one knows what’s in that water.
  • I am not allowed to cross the street without a Thai person holding my hand.
  • Traffic lanes are completely optional.
  • Sidewalks are great for motorcycles that want to avoid traffic.
  • When wearing a skirt, ride motorcycles sidesaddle or you will receive shocked looks from everyone no matter how long your skirt is.
  • When traveling with larger groups, send one or two people to hire a taxi on the street.  Everyone else scatters or hides nearby, so as to avoid overwhelming the taxi driver.  When the driver agrees to take you, signal for the rest of the group to run and jump in.  Good luck piling in.
  • Every car can fit your entire group; just get ingenious with seating arrangements.
  • Beware of air-conditioning.  The temperature shock might give you a cold.
  • Karaoke is the best form of entertainment.
  • If you speak Thai you get a better price.
  • If you feel like you’re struggling with the language just take a taxi for an ego boost.  The driver will almost always say you speak excellent Thai despite the fact you only said hi and where you want to go.
  • Starbucks is always the same no matter where you are in the world.
  • McDonalds offers Thai food and delivery.
  • Don’t trust curries being sold on the street if they look like they were cooked that morning and it is now dinner time.
  • Diarrhea is a common topic of discussion.
  • Always be ready to choke on a chicken bone and don’t be too freaked out when your soup has chicken claws floating in it.
  • Sticky rice is AMAZING and goes with everything.
  • Don’t always expect your clothes to be cleaner than when you put them in the washing machine.
  • Plan several days for your clothes to dry.
  • Use fabric softener to avoid mold.
  • It is customary to wash your floors every day. 
  • The bathroom floor is supposed to be wet.
  • Colorado has snow days; Thailand has protest days.
  • There are 4 seats in a taxi.  It is legal to take 5 people at a time, but anymore might be a little illegal.
  • When riding in the back of a truck wear a scarf over your hair.
  • Don’t let go of that scarf.
  • Hello Kitty is on everything, even toilets.
  • The more obnoxiously cute something is, the better it sells.
  • People don’t kiss babies, they smell them.
  • Avoid all eye contact, movement, or noise when traveling on the sky-train, subway, bus, ect.  However if one is riding on a khlong (a boat that operates like a bus) you may sing as loudly as you like because no one can hear you over the motor.
  • Always bring headphones when taking a khlong.
  • The sun must be avoided at all costs.
  • Always carry an umbrella.
  • No one understands why white people like to tan.
  • When you give kids too much candy they throw up in your apartment.  Good luck finding where.
  • My Thai students can spell English words better than I can.
  • Taking a shower only once a day is “barely hygienic” in Thai culture.
  • Always stand for the national anthem at the start of all movies in theaters.
  • When you go to the hospital be ready for a million antibiotics.
  • It is inappropriate to touch the top of a person’s head, but someone’s butt is fair game.
  • Never step on a picture of the king (including his portrait on money).
  • Never speak badly about the king.
  • Actually avoid talking about the king in general.
  • Never talk about politics in public places.
  • Stray dogs are everywhere.  Just because someone put a T-shirt on it doesn’t mean it belongs to anyone.  It means someone thought it is too cold for a dog not to be wearing a T-shirt.  Seriously.

The sidewalks are made out of tile, this poses many dangers.

  • Wear waterproof footwear with good grip in rainy season.
  • You will still fall.
  • There are landmines everywhere.  Meaning, loose tiles that will splash street juice up your leg if stepped on.
  • Don’t jog on the sidewalk.  Especially at 5 am.  I still have scars.
  • Never mistake a Canadian for a US citizen.  They don’t like that.
  • Kids love to set off firecrackers just to scare you.
  • Kids never get sick of UNO, but they do get sick of the cards that make them lose.  Watch out or suddenly your deck will be missing all +4 and wild cards.
  • If I leave the community for too long the kids will hunt me down and find me.
  • If I fall asleep with my door unlocked I will wake up to the kids inside my room.
  • Baking cookies in a toaster-oven is totally possible.
  • Thai people love their soap operas, and so do I.
  • People asking if you’ve eaten yet is the same as saying hi.
  • Don’t accidently bump into a monk or they will have to be ceremonially cleansed from coming in contact with a woman.  Sorry Mr. Monk at the immigration office…my bad.
  • Beware of monks with water.  They like to splash it in your face as a blessing.
  • Any food left unattended (no matter how briefly) will get ants.
  • Nothing ever happens the way you expect it to.

        [ Goer login ]

        © 2023 GoCorps. All rights reserved.
        Website design and development by Hawkeye Design Group