“More loose ends than a bowl full of spaghetti.” I told my friend as she asked how I was doing with getting things wrapped up before I leave. It is overwhelming to look at that much confusion, knowing I need to make sense of it before I leave the USA for two years. That said, it has been a roller coaster ride of highs and lows as I've been preparing to go.
I spent most of the summer meeting with friends and family to explain what I was doing, where I was going, and inviting them to partner with me prayerfully and financially. Since I am not terribly outgoing, the adventure started then for me. It has been a stretching time to meet with people and share what I am doing, but I have been blessed as I have had to lean on my heavenly Father to be with me and carry me through my fear. He has blessed me with a sense of His presence as I have walked though this process. He has graciously provided for me, and I am fully funded which means I get to go!
I am in my last week at home before I head off to training and then go join my team. Things I am experiencing:
Excitement. God has been leading and guiding this whole process, and I am excited to see what He has planned and to get to be a part of it. I'm also excited to get to learn a new language and culture and love other people.
Overwhelmed. Remember that bowl full of spaghetti? I have a lot of little pieces of my life here to wrap up before I leave, but I'm grateful for friends and family who are coming alongside of me and helping me along.
Sadness with Joy. I feel like a plant that is being uprooted, as I say goodbye to friends, family, and a way of life that is familiar to me. As my going becomes more of a reality, the loss becomes more real. Yet, the Lord has been reminding me of how much He sacrificed for us. Jesus came as the Suffering Servant, and we as His followers are called to follow in His footsteps. My loss pales significantly in comparison to His. Yet at the same time I find a bit of joy in doing this for Him because He asked me to and He is worth it.
Contentment. In the midst of all these emotions, He is giving me His peace as I lean on and trust in Him. I know He has called me to do this, and there is no better place to be.