เมษายน

I was ไม่สบาย (not feeling well). It was pretty hot outside, and I knew I probably looked a little pitiful walking into my community. Regardless, with each person I would encounter, I'd try to put on a nice smile when I would greet them. Part of me was kind of hoping that no one would ask any questions and that I'd be able to get away with just laying low. I found out that's pretty much not possible! The main 3 things I was able to confirm during the time I was sick in the community are that 1- Thai people are very intuitive and aware of how others feel. Therefore, a nice smile is not convincing; they can tell if you're not doing well and they will ask you about it or offer advice. 2- Thai people are very big on going to the doctor and taking medicine. 3- Being ไม่สบาย has it's benefits! Throughout one evening I was given a few oranges, a mango, a meal, a Thai tea, and a couple reassuring back rubs. I was also offered help with my laundry, extra helpings with dinner, beer, and several medicine and doctor recommendations. 

I felt like a part of the community. I felt so...cared for. When my body was sick, it was a real blessing to be tended to by those around me. It's nights like that really encourage me in times of doubt. Times of doubt come and go frequently during the process of relationship building. But when I think about that night, I can't deny that those people care about me, and that I care about them. That's progress; and it's beautiful to me. 

It was actually the same week I was sick that our team visited NightLight. Thankfully, I was feeling better by the end of the week and was able to go along for a tour of their facilities and join in their regular visits to bars in the area (a well know red light district). I was with a group of five women. It was surprising to me that while I was in the bar I didn't feel too sad or upset, as I suspected I would. We were told by staff before heading out that it is really important to the ministry to have a good hold on your emotions in the interest of maintaining good rapport with bar owners. I did get sad and upset at things I saw, but I was able to focus on connecting with some of the dancers and addressed my emotions later. 

I am very thankful for the NightLight ministry and the glimpse into what they do. It is certainly difficult and long term work. Though there are no other designated plans for our team to return to NightLight, I can see myself joining them again when they visit bars, and I'm interested in learning more through them.