Last weekend I attended a woman’s retreat where women working all around my country came together to fellowship, worship, and have a time of refreshment. It was an awesome weekend and the Lord met me there in some really cool ways. There was one talk that the speaker gave where I felt like God was speaking directly to me and my heart. I cannot take full credit for this blog post because it is full of thoughts I heard at the retreat mixed with some of my reflection.
[Matt 26:6-13, John 12:1-11]
In this story, Mary of Bethany came before Jesus and poured out a jar of expensive perfume onto his feet and wiped his feet with her hair. Jesus’s disciple Judas then basically says that what she did was huge waste because they could have sold the perfume and given the money to he poor. Jesus reprimands him and says that what she did was a beautiful thing and that she will be remembered for what she did. That perfume was expensive. It had lots of earthly value. After pouring it out on the feet of Jesus, it’s value could never be redeemed. She could not scoop it up and reuse it or put it back in the jar and sell it. No, she poured it all out. And Jesus called this BEAUTIFUL.
There have been times in the past 3 months that I have thought to myself “is this worth it?” “Am I wasting my time? Will these two years be a waste?” While I know deep down that it is not a waste, it can be easy to get bogged down by not seeing fruit or feeling unsure about how ministry will play out for me here. But the Lord spoke to me & said “I see you. I see what you are doing and it is beautiful and I am honored by it”
You see, we are not the ones that got to decide the value of something- that is his job. It always has been and always will be. Many people may look on what Mary did and call it a waste, but Jesus called it worship. What some of us may consider as waste in our lives is actually beautiful worship to Jesus. When I pour out my time, energy, resources, emotions, and all other things that once are poured out cannot have redeemable (earthly) value, it is not in vain. When I pour out myself for Jesus, even if I cannot cannot see the fruit of my outpouring- it is not a waste! It is worship!!Whatever we are pouring out and may think of as waste- he sees it all, acknowledges it all- he delights in us and calls it beautiful. He sees it as worship to him- and that is worth it.