Their quest had been worth all the pains it cost. (Jill’s reflection in C. S. Lewis' The Silver Chair)
I’m getting ready to leave to tithe my career: two whole years halfway across the world from my home! It’s time to get ready to say goodbye. And it’s not just me who counts the cost. My choice means that my family has to say goodbye, too.
I was on a call with my teammates from Cambodia who I call “Uncle Gil” and “Aunt Ruth” the other day, sharing about my plans and getting advice from people who had been on the field for decades. Uncle Gil reminded me that “there’s a cost to going, but there’s also a cost to sending. And that’s the one that often gets overlooked.” They encouraged me to admit that and leave space for that, especially with my parents.
I am blessed to have parents who have willingly surrendered me to the Lord (more than once) and who have been faithful encouragers of my decision to go. But I know many people my age who do not have the same story—who have even been prevented from going, or had to go in spite of their parent’s discouragement. And I can at least hypothetically understand—if it is hard for me to say goodbye to my little sister or brothers, how much harder would it be to send my own child off for years a day’s travel away! Even harder if that place might be hard for him/her, or even dangerous.
There’s a cost to sending, too. So I think Jesus’ promises about the cost of going should apply for those bearing the cost of sending, too. After the famous story of the rich young ruler (who was not willing to pay the steep cost of giving up his wealth and following Jesus), Peter pipes up to remind Jesus of the great cost he and the other disciples have paid in leaving their families and homes. Jesus responds with this promise:
Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life. (Luke 18:29-30)
Promise 1: many times as much (homes, wives, brothers, sisters, parents, and children) in this age. I’ve seen this growing up as a missionary kid: new close relationships, new “family” (think “Uncle” Gil and “Aunt” Ruth) provided by God to replace those we left behind.
Promise 2: in the age to come eternal life. Remember that one day in Heaven, all the people we love who love Jesus will be in the same city, worshiping God and delighting in him forever, with no more goodbyes.
So to our parents who are giving us up to the Lord, I believe there are promises of new blessings here and now and in the age to come. Whether your parents are willing or reluctant, let’s remind them of that. Let’s admit our own grief and let there be room for theirs. Let’s encourage them from Scripture and count their partnership in the gospel as something to celebrate. Let’s thank them for their ministry in sending us. And let’s pray for them, as we hope they’ll pray for us.