So I went to the Philippines and began to serve. I gave food to those in need, spoke half of a message at a youth group, got to know children from a children’s home who couldn’t be safe at their own home, and loved every minute of my time there. Then, on the third Sunday that my team was there, we went to church. They opened the service with worship, but as I began to sing, I felt nothing. I tried to praise but I couldn’t find God to direct my worship toward Him. Then I really felt like sitting down; I resisted doing this, because I wanted to be a good role model as a missionary, but God seemed to be insisting, so I sat down. Then I felt that He wanted me to get out my phone and open the Notes app. That’s worse! Role models don’t go on their phones during worship! But again, He insisted, so I went to my Notes App and typed the following at His leading: “Behold I am revealing a new thing to you. These are my people and sheep. They need shepherds. I am calling you to shepherd them. This will be your home.” Obviously, I started silently freaking out again. I don’t have further words to describe how I felt.
Then, while I was silently sitting there trying not to lose my mind, the pastor went up on stage and said “I really feel like someone has a word to share with the church.” To make matters worse, my friend looked right at me as if to say “that’s you.” God was giving me no way out. I showed her God’s message and did not go up, still freaking out. No one went up, so the pastor said, “I still think someone has a word, so I’m going to call again at the end of service.” So now my doom had a countdown timer.
The message went by and sure enough, at the end of the sermon the pastor once more called for a word to be shared with the church. Before anyone had a chance to move though, another pastor grabbed a mic and walked onto the stage. He began, “I really think this word is supposed to come from one of the missionaries.” God, why are you calling me out like this? This is obviously meant for me, this is not fair at all. “I really think God is calling one or more of you to the NATIONS.” Exasperation. Disbelief. This isn’t even a question of why, it is a question of HOW. HOW can this be happening? With God all things are possible, but I still cannot believe that what happened happened. It is flatly impossible. But, there is more. The pastor then said, “And I really think God wants you to JOURNAL all of this.” I have never passed out in my life, but if ever I would have, it would’ve been then. Again, HOW can this be happening? This pastor (the Holy Spirit) was reading my thoughts, my journal entries, the concerns and fears of my heart, and calling me out accordingly.
Utterly exasperated and in total disbelief, I went up to the stage along with two of my teammates and got prayed for and commissioned to do missions work for His Kingdom. So I went home from that trip totally inspired to become a missionary and turned my life to that call. I got further confirmation when I told my family (all approving of this call) and my sister and my mom further confirmed it. Apparently, when my mom first met my wife while we were dating and learned that she wanted to do missions, my mom left the room, hid away in her room, and cried because she felt a conviction that I was going to leave to do missions work and that I wouldn’t live close to home. My sister then informed me that, at least three times while I was away, she would randomly get the thought, “Christopher is going to do this full time.” She decided that she would not share this with me unless I said something about desiring to do missions further. It is quite clear now that the Holy Spirit was telling her what He was up to and preparing another confirmation; I had not told her about anything relating to missions before I had left or about the Immanuel Journaling exercise, only that I was going to the Philippines.