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A New Name

Posted on Wednesday, July 6, 2022

   I am learning a lot. I am learning about what I do not know. I am learning a lot about what drives me to work. I am learning an entire new language. I am learning about a new culture and country across the world from my home. I am learning things about new people. I am learning about different themes throughout the Bible. I am learning where to schedule in rest and how to protect and manage my time here well. I am learning how to extend grace when things or people are different. I am learning about how faithful and kind the Lord is to me over different seasons.

   Recently I have been tracing back my life experiences, lies and wounds, and the ways in which the Lord has used me to nail down more exact gifts, interests, and passions that He is calling me to focus on. Through these exercises I have learned that I have gifts in leadership, togetherness, optimism, and organization. I even was challenged to form a calling statement, “To be content while being led by the Spirit, to worship Him for the open and shut doors, and to share truth within community and through discipleship. To help communicate for those in need, plan for quality medical care, advocate for the local church, and actively bring people together in Christian community as a joyful and loyal leader with clear communication in delegating tasks.”

   The day I moved into my home stay, I was given the name Niso. And while every local tells me it means something different, my host mom says it means “daughter of the king, sunshine, and light.” Obviously I am pretty happy with this name. Locals now only know me by this name, because it is easier for them to pronounce. With a new name comes a new identity, to them I am just a student learning the local language from America. When I became a follower of Jesus 3 years ago, I also received a new name. “The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give. -Isaiah 62:2." The Lord has used many things recently to humble me, from a pair of ripped pants to reminding me that I am not needed here. I am here because the Lord has me here, and I am thankful that He wants me here. He can do all of His work without me but chooses to allow me to be a part of His plan in drawing all nations to Himself. The truth is I don’t have a lot to offer, I don’t have the language, and I volunteer in the clinic filing charts. Yet in His loving kindness He brought me here to work on my heart and to build my relationship with him, all the rest that happens is just a bonus. Anything that I get to experience or any relationship I make here is from, through, and to Him.

   There have been a lot of sweet moments and realizations in the last few weeks, I am thankful for a personal relationship where I can hear from the Lord.  While traveling this month to a city 4 hours away, I was standing in the middle of a village surrounded by massive snow-capped mountains and a beautiful clear blue lake. The Lord whispered to me “I brought you here.” I feel like this was the first moment I could feel my feet on the ground beneath me and actually realized where I live. It was overwhelming yet grounding. I wanted to smile and cry, that is actually the best way to describe how a lot of moments feel here. While we were there we got stuck in a freak snowstorm, it is definitely my favorite place I have visited so far. When I first arrived on the field I did not like doing things with my host family or really anything with a lot of locals, it was extremely overwhelming and often led to tears. A very confusing time because that was my purpose in being here. Now I really enjoy going to local villages, visiting my friends home stays, picking fresh fruit with my family, and playing with the kids!

   I got to attend a musical put on by the expat community of the story of Moses, it was so good and brought me to tears several times. Being here often feels like you are wandering through the wilderness and cannot see God's plan. I see His promise that He will be with us in the gift of my new home, a little place to make my own and to host guests. I have already started to feel better being able to wash all of my produce and cook for myself. I am living across from the Botanical Gardens and have been going on many walks early in the morning before it is 104 degrees outside. When I had to tell my host family that I was moving, I was genuinely so sad. I have come to love and care for them so deeply, they are so good to me and have taught me so much. A few days before I left, I was across the street waiting for a taxi and saw my little host brother running to catch his school van. He climbed in and looked out the back window and smiled so big waving at me. My heart felt the words “...’Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ -Matthew 25:23.”

   There are always many funny moments to laugh about in the midst of all the transition, like not having enough language to tell people that you don’t want things or do want something. Having random people take pictures of you or with you because you are an American guest. Getting lots of free things like tours, raspberries from your tour guides brother, or bouquets from your tour guides son? Being asked if you felt the earthquake, on several different days… Riding on a sketchy military plane for fun because you wanted to go skydiving but did not want to jump alone. Paying $5 for 120 pictures of you and a friend riding horses because you refused to look through all of them and pick your favorite. Riding rides at the amusement park that should not be allowed to function to ‘celebrate’ your 3 months in country.

   Sometimes I feel like I get so much done and accomplished here, other times I wonder where the day went. People constantly ask what I do here and what my days look like. Everyday holds something new. The days randomly become really busy or they are free and restful and leave lots of room for last minute plans. Life here is very similar to life in America, with less ordered schedule and more room for the Spirit to lead. I have the same issue every other global worker has, the feeling of needing to please people that are supporting me. I am giving up that false expectation early on here because it is not feasible and I want to be led by the Spirit alone. Recently I have been pretty mentally exhausted, I have spent a lot of my time helping new people adjust to the field which is hard still being new and not having my own grip on what my role is yet. I am happy to help my team in this way, but it is difficult and stretching. I am learning that life overseas is a lot of people coming and going, you feel slightly connected to someone and they leave. You have guests in town but know they are going back to the states. Goodbyes are still tough being this far from friends and family. One day every visitor, expat friend, and local believers will rejoice with the Holy God. “I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. -Psalm 116:9"

In Christ,

Ruth or Niso ;)

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