Purpose- the reason for which something is done, created, or for which something exists - as one's intention or objective.
A word I have used so much recently in many different contexts. Purposeful vs. Purposeless. When people ask how I am doing in this season of waiting, I often respond that I am struggling to find my purpose in still being here. Struggling to be where my feet are, to find my place where I do not feel like I belong. I admit, it is hard to realize my purpose in this season of waiting to go. I confess that I feel purposeless because I do not have a job. What does purpose mean to you? I think our purpose in life is often mistaken as our identity. Coming out of college and a part-time internship I had 2 jobs offered to me associated with my degree, practically the exact same things I will be doing in Central Asia. I turned down both because I was committed to entering a full-time season of support-raising, which is indeed a full-time job in itself. The first 3 months were extremely busy, life-giving, and challenging. I was working in full-time ministry, building up a team of senders, all while helping to mobilize people who were interested in going. The last two months have been nothing short of slow. Meetings are few and far between, I am caught up on thank you notes, and email updates don’t feel as important when I do not have a ton of news to share except a fundraising percentage. I sit and wonder what it will be like to finally go, as I have a stack of books I should read haunting me.
There has been a lot of time on my hands to make decisions of what my work day will look like and how I can better prepare to go. I know the abundant amounts of time to spend with closest friends, family, and international students is a blessing. I am learning so much about what life looks like in other countries and how other cultures adjust to life in America. I find a lot of purpose in ministry related to people who look differently than me. The Lord has gently reminded me that I will be the international student in my country, where everything is a new experience. One that doesn’t understand the culture and has many questions. I pray everyone I know will befriend someone from another country, as a person to do life with and be in communion with, not as a project. If we have the right idea of what the kingdom of God is then we understand He desires to draw all nations to Himself. I promise you will be changed for the better. This shouldn’t be something we even have to say out loud anymore, it should simply be normalized to meet and be friends with people that are not like us, you will find much more in common with their heart and desires than their hobbies.
Recently the Lord has showed me many things that I know in my head and have seen the Lord do right in front of my own eyes yet still do not believe in my heart. It shouldn’t take large amounts of funds to convince me that the Lord provides, I think the Lord is using many opportunities and challenges to teach and grow me in this aspect of my life. It shouldn’t take the Lord continuously showing up, for me to trust Him fully. We refuse to believe the Lord is for us and that His ways will always be the best for us even when we do not understand them. I want my purpose to look more like abiding in the Lord. I think purpose means something different to everyone. Obviously everyone believes the purpose for their life is different. One of the world’s favorite phrases is to convince us we have to know and find our purpose.The Lord makes our purpose abundantly clear, He even says we all have the same one. There are many different ways we can fulfill this, if we were all the same this world would be extremely boring.
"For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." -Colossians 1:16
Overall, our purpose is to glorify Christ with our lives and to share the gospel with all people. Our identity is found in being a child of God and that we are loved and accepted into His kingdom by grace alone. I know that my purpose in life right now is to provide spaces for international students to feel welcome in American homes and pray that through friendships they see the light of Jesus in me. Even in a season of feeling like I need to take a step back from the gift of community and prepare my heart to go, I can be present with these students who are looking for friendships because the Lord has placed me here for now. As I prepare to leave my country and move to a new place far from home and all that is comfortable, I take a humble posture of a learner from the lives of my new friends.
In Christ,
Ruth :')