The last 10 weeks of my life I have set out on an adventure called support raising. It has been the hardest, most challenging, chaotically beautiful process of extreme doubt and growth. Does that make sense? The fear of man is more real and present than I ever believed to be true, especially in the sense of asking people you know and care about to support you during the next two years of your life. On the other hand it is an honor that someone wants you to join in on their ministry through prayer and finances. I have only invited people that I have felt led to by the Spirit into an opportunity so much bigger than myself. Please know that if I have met with you personally over a meal or coffee, come and shared at your small group, talked to you in passing about what I will be doing overseas or just sent you a simple email, that you are an answered prayer and I am really grateful that you are here reading this.
Have you noticed that missionaries are some of the only people that send out email updates as a part of their job to communicate about their life and ask for prayer? I think we should regulate getting email updates from our closest friends! I never thought I would have a job considered full-time ministry, I also never thought I would have my own blog but here I am writing to you! I get asked a lot on this journey, “What are you learning?” Christ has definitely been using this process to teach me a lot about Him and myself, so here are some things I have been learning up until this point!
He has me. Simple, yet hard to fathom when all you feel is immense pressure to raise funds and schedule meetings all by a certain deadline. The Lord has brought me this far, He has opened every door, I believe that He wants me to go and that He will not leave me here alone. It is always easier to type or say it outloud than it is to believe in your heart. There is a disconnect between saying I trust His will and purpose for my life and actually resting in this truth. One thing He continues to remind me of and I know for sure is that my identity lies in Christ alone. What is salvation? Salvation is Jesus delivering us from separation. By His grace through faith. Faith is full trust that Jesus is over our lives.
Obedience yields faithfulness. When this season feels extremely slow, when I do not see fruit from ministry, when my occupation right now feels purposeless… I am gently reminded by the Father that I am being obedient to where my feet are right now. Even when I am doubtful of finishing this race and finally getting to go, He remains faithful to me, He does and can not change. In this season I have been learning to follow more spiritual disciplines, if I do not have the word stored up in my heart then I can not pour out into others. I must be feasting on the word for energy to sustain me.
Open-handedly let good gifts go. This is probably the hardest, we cling so tightly to good things in our life. If every good gift is from above then we should thank Christ for them and know it is for His good and glory when He takes them away. This can be simple joys or really hard things like friendships, and community. If my community pushes me to be in prayer and spend time with the lost then Christ would never tell me to let go of it, right? Very wrong. He calls us into new seasons, relationships and places, even when it hurts. From the wise words of someone probably famous I guess, “The mountains are calling and I must go.” ;)
False expectations steal joy. If I try to enter into anything without Christ, I will be highly disappointed every time. We know we can only find true satisfaction in Jesus alone, we ask His Spirit to lead us into what He has for us. When we build up walls of high expectations to be met for how we think things will go or how someone should treat us, we will always come up short. Recently I have been learning to practice this internally by not building up scenarios in my head before meeting someone for the first time, calling someone on the phone, or attending a gathering. I want to live my life with a little more surprise and take on each adventure, especially the process of moving overseas by not putting God to the test to meet my false expectations of what I think life will look like. Because, quite frankly, I do not have a clue.
Satan hates support raising. Spiritual warfare is real and your heart must be guarded by the word and the Lord’s promises in this season. He will sit on your shoulder and whisper against every promise of Christ, He does not want us to share the gospel in hard to reach places, He does not want you to build up partnerships in the gospel, He does not want you to reach your goals and He wants to scare you out of moving. This has been one of the absolute hardest parts of this long, hard and tiring journey. The doubt that overflows and makes me question everything, is not from the Lord and I recognize that. He attacks motivation, transportation, phone calls, text messages, emails, follow-ups, meetings, support, and anything that will help me get overseas. Luckily the Lord is unchanging, He already knows who is on my team and exactly how long it will take to raise support. I will be still and wait on the Lord.
I hope this finds you well in honesty, vulnerability and encouragement. I hope this is a true and real picture of what it looks like to support raise, but also shows you the beauty and growth I have found through the process. I think everyone should raise support at some point in their life, or help send someone who is. I am thankful for boundless, unmerited grace from my sweet Father above during this time!
In Christ,
Ruth :)