About one month before I was meant to leave for the field, I got news that plans had changed. I had been planning and preparing to spend two years in the UK, and was told that I could only go for up to six months and would then be relocated to a different team most likely somewhere in North Africa. Getting this news was quite disorienting and sent me into a bit of a panic for a day. Suddenly all my plans had changed. This idea I had of what my life was going to look like no longer applied. I took that day and stress cleaned my bedroom while asking God what on Earth he was doing. In the midst of the dusting and rearranging of books, I just heard his asking me over and over again, "do you trust me?". It was this subtle yet powerful question that eased all the stress and worries I had been feeling. It was humbling yet comforting as it reminded me of who is in control of my life. You see, the crazy thing about this change is that even though I had no clue this was going to happen, God did. This change was a part of his plan all along, and as I look back on that day I can see it so clearly.
When I began this journey of figuring out where to go overseas I actually wanted to go to North Africa. When the Lord redirected me to the UK I didn't really know why, but I also didn't question it. I couldn't explain it, but I was sure this was where the Lord wanted me to be. It was even more confirming because there was nothing in me that was naturally inclined to choose this field, yet I had this steady confidence in it. I think the Lord used this to prepare my heart for where he was actually sending me, North Africa. When I was originally looking to be sent here, my heart was not in the right place. It was rooted in pride and this desire to be the good Christian that went to serve in hard places. In rerouting me to the UK, God gently gave me the opportunity to lay those idols at his feet and to choose him above everything else. In doing so, I think I almost got the "okay" from God to go to the place I had been longing for all along.
While this big change in plans originally seemed so disorienting and confusing, I now see it as a gift. I am so thankful that I serve a gracious and kind God who sees the desires of my heart and uses them for his good. I have learned that it doesn't matter where we serve--we are all working in a battlefield for the Kingdom.