The journey thats brought me to this place began as I was approaching college decision day at the end of high school. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life or where I wanted to go to school. If you had asked me back then what I was passionate about all I could answer was, “Jesus and people” which did not lead me anywhere as I believed you should take those passions into every area of life. However, the Lord had given me a major heart for travel and I knew the one thing that I HAD to do was study abroad. This along with some other convincing on Jesus’ part is what led me to attend Azusa Pacific University.
It was the spring semester of my sophomore year and the time had finally come for me to head out overseas to study in the beautiful city of Cape Town, South Africa. It was here that the Lord opened my eyes to what he had in mind for my life. I got to interact with people from all over and got to know a different culture from my own. I had the opportunity to work at a preschool and see real-life miracles happen every day! I saw Jesus show up in places that needed him—and I saw people with faith like nothing I had seen before. I had never seen it before because I had never been in a position where I ever needed to trust him that much. I never had to depend on him to provide me with my next meal or ask that he would bring me clean running water. I had lived in an abundance of things my entire life and could not even comprehend the faith these people had. They didn’t question the Lord, they trusted that he would bring them exactly what they needed, and you know what, HE DID! What struck me the deepest was my inability to understand—it was there that I heard the Lord calling me into something greater.
At the time I wasn’t really aware of it. I thought all Christians wanted to be m*ss*onar*es, like it was everyone’s lifelong dream. I told myself I wasn’t special, there was no way I could possibly be the one to do that, and that I was WAY too small to be doing something so big. Yet, the burden on my heart would not go away. As I started to talk about it a little more I came to realize that all Christians do not want to be m*ss*onar*es and this aching feeling I had in my chest was actually pretty counteractive to most. So at this point, I was like, “God what on earth does that mean for me?” because despite realizing that maybe this was coming from the Lord I was having a hard time believing in myself. So I went home from South Africa and kind of just ignored it. I went back to school and tried to figure out what was next for me as I saw senior year and graduation quickly approaching. The problem was that God had already told me what was next, I just didn’t want to listen! Throughout this time of me wrestling with the Lord over my student loans, America’s idea of success, and quite literally anything else I could find to get in the way of doing what he was asking of me, covid hit. As the hustle and bustle of the world went quiet and we all retreated into our homes with nothing to do, God was slowly whispering to me.
In the midst of covid when the idea of ever leaving the country again seemed so foreign, I had this deep confidence that I was going and that it was coming soon. As school started back up in the fall I became increasingly aware that I needed to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I was on track to graduate in December but didn’t have a clue after that. APU has this program called HIS Years that was specifically designed for post-graduate students looking to serve overseas. I started to look into it and pray more about what the Lord had for me. It’s somewhat comical to even say because God had already made it pretty clear what he wanted me to do, I just kept praying in hopes that he would give me a different answer. Clearly, he didn’t. So I ended up applying for the program (i sent in my application on the last day might I add) and I GOT IN! This was when the tide in my attitude began to change.
You see, the issue wasn’t really that I didn’t want to go overseas or that I didn’t want to do this thing that the Lord was asking of me. The issue was that I had no faith in myself, but that’s the beauty in all of this—I can’t do it, but God can! What an amazing and humbling place to be in, so weak and vulnerable needing to depend FULLY on the Lord. It reminds me of what I got to see in South Africa. I am still learning how to trust more readily in the Lord and am so thankful for the example he gave me in the people I met there. What really blows my mind is the fact that when all this started I viewed my passions of "Jesus and people" as something that was going to get me nowhere. Now, here I am doing the one thing that intertwines the two perfectly.
SO, once I decided that God probably knew a lot more than I did and trusting him was the best move, things began happening. Through HIS Years I got connected to GoCorps and began looking into placements abroad. This is how I got connected to the United Kingdom field that is working with refugees in the area. I met with the team leaders and within five minutes of talking we both decided that I would be coming to work with them soon. It’s incredible what can happen when you just decide to follow where God is taking you. It’s crazy for me to sit on this side of things and look back at what the Lord has brought me through. He has been so gracious to me in my reluctance and given me more than I could have possibly imagined for myself. With that, I will be heading off to the UK in March of 2022!