I am now less than three days from departing for my new country! As time grows shorter, the reality of what I am leaving in the States is becoming much more tangible. My sense of excitement for what I am headed into has begun to be freckled by moments of sadness and uncertainty about the people and things I am leaving behind. But I am not left to simply wonder or worry about what will happen in these areas of my life; instead, God invites me deeper into himself by asking me to surrender all of my hopes and cares concerning these things to him.
The themes of surrender, sacrifice, and submission have been quite prevalent for me over the past few months. I have learned that surrender is not about fostering indifference to the things I care about; rather, it is taking the fullness of my desires and entrusting them to the Lord to either change or satisfy. On the one hand, I communicate boldly with God about what I want and recognize him as a good Father who loves to give good gifts to his children. On the other hand, I recognize him as the sovereign God who spoke to Isaiah:
My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).
Thus, although I bring the fullness of my desires to God, I recognize that he may purify improper ones and meet good ones in different (and better!) ways than I would. And he has. When I have desired to be loved, he has laid down his life to pursue me as his bride. When I have desired to be protected, he has extended his shield over me as my refuge. When I have desired to belong, he has welcomed me as a citizen of the kingdom and a child of the Most High. When I have desired to be known, he has searched my heart and acquainted himself with all my ways. When I have desired peace, he himself has been my peace. In fact, the more I have surrendered my desires to the Lord, the more he has met them with himself. Over time, this has been teaching me that I will only be fully satisfied in him, which shapes my heart to want him over everything else. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
So, surrender is not throwing my hands up in the air and saying I don’t care what happens. Surrender is entrusting my situation to God and clinging to his promises to take care of, provide for, satisfy, and guide me. I always make my requests known to him, yet I rejoice regardless of how more immediate circumstances in my life turn out, for “in [his] presence there is fullness of joy; at [his] right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).
I am finding surrendering what I care about to the Lord particularly precious because it is a means of interacting relationally with him. In surrender, I actively choose God over other things that I value, which is an exercise of love. This refines my faith and drives me to cling closer to him for what I need. Surrender is also a means of dying to myself and allowing God to enter in. I love this quote from T.C. Upham: “The disposition… to leave the dearest objects of our hearts in the sublime keeping of the general and unspecific belief that God is now answering our prayers in his own time and way, and in the best manner, involves a present process of inward crucifixion which is obviously unfavorable to the growth and even the existence of the life of self.” In surrender I enter further into the mind of Christ that submitted his will to the point of perfect unity with the Father.
My surrender is also relationally meaningful for God. It is a way for him to personally experience my love for and trust in him. He doesn’t just want to know of my potential sacrifice or potential faith through his foreknowledge. He wants to interact personally, relationally, and immediately with me. God is a personal God who has made me for fellowship with him. Surrender, submission, and sacrifice are means of fellowship for which I was created and which he enjoys.
It is easy to think that God only wants me to surrender unlawful things in my life, like ungodly desires, thoughts, or actions. But true surrender offers the good things too – especially if this is what I really value. When David went to buy Araunah’s threshing floor to build an altar to the Lord, Araunah offered it to him for free alongside fuel for the fire and oxen for the sacrifice. But David responded, “No... I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.” Surrendering the good, valuable things that God had entrusted to David allowed him to more fully demonstrate his commitment to the Lord and the sincerity of his sacrifice. It is when I surrender things that I highly value and believe are genuinely good – not just unlawful things or things I don’t really care about – that I truly learn to say, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
As I move to my new country, I am entrusting many beloved people and things to God. It is my prayer to affirm with Job, “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21).
-Hope