When I first got to this country I started to make a list. Two lists actually--one for all the questions I had and one for all the things I loves and was grateful for. The questions list has fluctuated in length as I got answers and had more questions, but the other steadily grew.
In those first moments in country, I was naïve and unaware and everything seemed great. But I knew that would not always be the case. I wanted to make a list to remind myself what I thought when I first got to the country. To help myself see the beauty when it became more difficult.
Because initially I wrote that I loved the crows calling to each other. And some days I still do. Other days their screeches are just loud and irritating and I want to yell at them to be quiet.
Along the lines of loud and irritating, I said that I was grateful for the call to prayer, because it was a constant reminder for myself to pray for my neighbors and remember the bigger hope for my coming. But some days, I want to just enjoy the silence or be able to hear the conversation I am having and not have to yell over the speakers. Some days I want to yell, as my friend's baby sister did, "Be silent!"
And I said that I loved the way the skirts swished around my ankles. The excessive material which I could fold around myself at least two, maybe three times. They do billow prettily and at times it is fun, like a little kids, to spin around and watch the fabric follow. However, when you trip on them and fall into (or out of) the bus again, you are a bit less than grateful for the full length skirts and dress you wear.
On my list I also have the head scarves. I enjoyed trying to wrap them around my head imitating the local women here. Although when you still can't manage to get them to stay in place and you see a five year old with her scarf perfectly in place, you can't help but feel a little useless and ridiculous, realizing how silly you must seem to locals.
I kept this list so that I could remember and I continued to add to it. I wanted to be intentional about remembering how I have been blessed and what I have to be grateful for. Some days are harder than others and I can fall into a snarky or sarcastic attitude, complaining about life. But slowly the list has grown. As I learn more, my little world in this country has grown and so has my list of thankfulness.
I am grateful for:
-gas stoves which can be lit even if the power is out
-electricity which runs the fans and refrigerator
-a water bottle which filters the water a second time protecting my inexperienced body from more illness
-the bus rides. I really love riding in the bus. It's packed and hot and bumpy, but I love it. I love practicing my language listening skills and looking out the window.
-the roof/terrace where we get a good breeze and I can look out over the neighborhood and watch people
-sheets, the thin dress material which is pretty cool and breezy. Plus super colorful
-the markets where you can buy so many different fruits and vegetables, including mangoes and eggplant! It is so full of life and oftentimes very loud and busy.
-the colorful buildings. Many were repainted at the beginning of April and are bright colors. They help me find my way home, especially at the beginning. I knew to turn at the purple building!
-sambosas, fries, generally fried food
-sunrises and sunsets
-being so close to water. I can see the port or the beach from the roof and some days, you can smell the sea on the breeze
Some of the list are silly and little things but I am so grateful for these little blessings and moments of joy. When people ask me what I like about being here, I could list any of these things, and sometimes do. But the longer I am here, the more I learn and the more nuanced the list becomes. The things I am most grateful for are the people I meet and the friendships I have formed.
I am grateful for:
-the first conversation I had in the local language when I finally understood the majority of it
-the old mama on the corner who tells my roommate that I need to learn the local language and to come talk to her when I know the words for nose and mouth and eyes
-the little girl who begs by the school, who knows my name and waves whenever I walk past
-the people in conversation class who after learning my name always nods and says it is a good Arabic name (my real name)
-the local friend who always asks about my parents and how they are doing whenever she sees me
-the little girl at the dukaan who babbled away at me for five minutes and still waves at me, even though I wasn't able to respond to her at all
-the woman on the bus who commented on how pretty I was because I was wearing my shawl over my head
-the grandma on the bus who promised to pray for me when I explained to her in the local language that I was single and lived with a couple of friends
-my language helper who has been so patient in listening and deciphering my broken language and invites me into her family
-the mama in the market who recognizes me and calls me over to say hello even when I don't buy anything
-my student who, after hearing that I was learning the local language, sent me an 8-hour video to learn the language in your sleep
-my other student who came early to every class and attended as many conversation classes as he could and was so enthusiastic about learning
Every few days I add to my list. It started on an index card that I used as a bookmark. Later it moved into my journal and now it spans multiple pages. Whenever the low of culture shock hits or I am feeling especially snarky, I can look at my list and "count my blessings". I can hold onto the good moments and determine to find the beauty in the frustrating. I remember the people, the smiles, the sparks of joy, the conversations, all the things that years from now will matter the most.