This time of year has got me thinking about fasting for a couple of different reasons. For one thing, April marks the beginning of a month long fasting holiday for followers of one of the major world religions. This will be my first experience in a place where almost everyone around me will be abstaining from food and water during the daylight hours and feasting, praying, and celebrating most of the night. Another reason I am thinking about fasting is because of Lent.
What is Lent? If you had asked me that when I was a child I would have been slightly confused. For a bit I thought it was tied with Passover and getting rid of all the yeast in your house. Or I might have told you that it is when all the restaurants in the area serve fish on Fridays because you aren't supposed to eat meat if you are Catholic. Maybe, I might have referenced paczkis, the Polish filled doughnuts that we would get every year on Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras. I did not really understand what the Lenten season was all about or how it connected with Easter.
Which is actually kind of funny, considering that Easter is my favorite holiday. If I knew there was a period of 40 days in which we get to ready our hearts for Easter, I would have been thrilled. It is better than Advent is to Christmas and 15 days longer!
Easter has always been my favorite holiday. It is a holiday filled with memories from my childhood, of church and visiting family, of spring flowers and trees budding, of green grass for the first time in months, a new dress for church and family pictures, of hymns sung slowly or enthusiastically depending on who is playing the piano. I love all the memories and traditions we had as a family. But most importantly, I love Easter because of how it culminates all the hope of ages and opens the door to new life in the Father. It is the moment Isaiah speaks of only 44 chapters after he tells about the birth of the coming Messiah!
During the week before Easter, my family would read through the story from the gospels. My siblings and I would get to find one egg each evening leading up to Easter. In the egg was a little prop that helped tell the story of the Holy week and the Son. We loved getting the little plastic swords that represented Peter when he tried to cut off the soldiers ear. We used to play with them when we were supposed to be listening to my mom read the story. The bread for the last supper was usually eaten before the story finished and the feather for the rooster was blown away by accident. For the crown of thorns, my mom would use thorns from our gooseberry bush. From mishaps picking fruit off of those bushes, I felt great commiseration with Him when he had to wear the crown. Each night, my mom would read out of an old Book with tattered pages but beautiful illustrations.
It wasn't until college, when I went to a fellowship that put more emphasis on the Lenten season, that I suddenly realized how this time marked by doughnuts and fried fish could actually be something more and connect to this holiday that I already loved.
In the season, people fast from something. Traditionally, it is includes fasting from meat on Fridays but it does not have to be that. Fasting is always a bit tricky because it is an outward sign of a heart change. It is a means of quieting one's soul and life to focus more earnestly on the Father. Keeping that balance is very important. To fast to give up something or to lose weight or break bad habits defeats the purpose. Lent especially is a time of sacrifice in order to spend more time thinking about the meaning of the holiday and deepening the relationship with the Father.
While in college I started to participate. I tried to wisely chose something to give up that would allow me to have more time for spending with Him. One year I gave up all social media and phone apps not used for communication or school. I was amazed how much more free time I had and attempted to use it intentionally. Another year, I gave up coffee. I wanted to break any sort of outside force that might have a hold on me (aka I was addicted to coffee!) and I was able to use the money I saved to help support workers from my local fellowship. For me, the "sacrifices" helped put my heart into a correct attitude of humility and reliance on the Father. Easter became even more special and important.
This year as the season came around, I wasn't sure what to do. My life is so different from what it would be in the States. With all the changes and the learning process that I am currently in, I wanted to take time to make this season intentionally about Him. I did not want Easter to slip by in the busyness of language learning and adjusting, teaching and just learning to survive on the field. At the same time I feel into a selfish attitude of, "Well I have already sacrificed so much. I don't really need to give up any more."
I was struck the other day as I read a devotional. "He emptied himself." Empty, nothing left, nothing held back, no "I have given enough; I don't need to give anymore." It brought me back to the original purpose of this season. It is not to boost yourself and your personal holiness. It is not a time of restrictions to try to buy or bribe the Father to do something. It is a time of quieting your soul. The discipline enables you to create more room for the Father to work. Fasting is done out of a desire to know Him better and to worship and glorify Him.
What could I lay down so I could spend more time with the King of Kings who has made a way for me to enter into his awesome presence, with my loving Father who desires to know me, with my Savior who gave everything so that I might be called a sister and friend. I can list so many ways that I have been blessed. In gratitude and adoration, how much more could I lay down? To know him more and to make him known.