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"Who touched my clothes?" 

Posted on Saturday, June 4, 2022

I want to ask you to sit with this chunk of scripture, or read the whole story in Mark 5:21-43… 

 "When she [woman who had been bleeding for 12 years] heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "if I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?" 

 "You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'who touched me?'" 

 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering” (Mark 5:27-34).

I was pretty sick for about a week. I hadn’t felt this sick in Bulgaria before, but with what I knew and some advice, I was pretty confident it was just a cold and my body needed time and rest to heal. I, however, did not think I had time to rest and heal for more than a day. So, on day 2 of waking up with a fever, I told myself: “take some meds, a thirty-minute nap, eat something, then get to work – from home. Yeah, have you been there? Well, that mindset didn't work out so well for me, and with my head pounding, I laid down. I started to pray and think, and I thought to myself, “Ok, so what if I don’t get much work done. What would that say about me? Or what if my part of program planning doesn’t get done, or what if our program isn’t even used or helpful, what if I don’t leave an impact” (by who’s measure?? I’d like to know). I was going down the 'what ifs' and eventually getting down to, “What if all I ever do is worship God. Is that enough?” It didn’t sound like enough to me, and it didn’t feel like enough. Then, with sickness on my mind, I thought, “What if all I am ever able to do is worship God.” 

I know, pretty existential for just a cold, but that’s just me. In these questions, I saw my pride peeking out in the way I had thought I could be capable of so much more. But really, a deeper question of purpose surfaced in the thought that without my skills and best efforts being used, my purpose was lost. An awareness of my privilege rose up in me too. I am able-bodied, I get to work a job that I love, I am supported and provided for by people I love, and all in a place that I’m loving more with each day. Sure, I count these things as blessings, but the truth that started sinking in for me is, that these things and my abilities are nowhere near the blessing that is the LORD. The presence of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I want to be cautious not to oversimplify because I believe that our deeds and gifts are testaments of our faith, and I also believe God has created each human with a place in the body of Christ. In my moment of feeling utterly useless, I think the Lord was simply reminding me what I am created for; that is, to be blessed by God’s presence and bless others. I am created to worship God, glorify Jesus, and, by the help of the Holy Spirit, love him and his people! What does this have to do with Mark 5, you may ask… 

 I’m not trying to compare my story to the scriptures, rather a couple things just stood out and encouraged me as I sat with this passage that week. The first was the woman’s faith in reaching out; although she was an outcast, spent, and her 12-years of bleeding had only gotten worse, she believed that getting close to Jesus would heal her. Jesus’ presence is transformative. The second was the unhurried way Jesus stopped and intentionally sought out the person who reached out to him; although the woman had already felt that she was freed from bodily suffering, Jesus tenderly called her “Daughter,” and seeing her, he assured her that faith has made her well. Jesus sees our reaching out. 

So not just when I have a cold, but even when I’m working diligently, I hope to pray and believe that each day, in reaching out to Jesus, I am seen, known and loved. There is transformation power in that, no matter what my circumstances look like, and God's glory will be the everlasting impact.  

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