Before I moved overseas, I went through quite a few different training sessions. One of the things I learned the most about was culture shock. There were 100 different examples and metaphors for how a person could experience the inevitable culture shock. I read all the books, took all the notes, and really thought I was prepared. Culture shock would have nothing on me! Or so I thought.
I am now three days into month six, and let me tell ya, culture shock is real and very much at play. While learning about it was good and important, I don’t think anything could have truly prepared me for experiencing it. Some days I wake up and everything just seems good. Not good like sitting in a cabin, drinking coffee next to the fire, but deep down in your soul good. Other days I just want to close my eyes on the bus because I can’t handle the level of poverty that surrounds me. Some mornings I wake up and drink my coffee and listen to music while praising Him. Other mornings I wake up and want to cry before I even leave my bed because I am already sweating and miss my family. The constant ups and downs are exhausting. They are exhausting emotionally, physically, and definitely spiritually.
In the last two days I have screamed, cried, and laughed. I am exhausted. I need more than just a nap in an air conditioned room that I don’t have to strip my wallet to pay for. What I need is more of JC. This morning as I was reading a book about abiding in Him, the words really hit me. My life has been a constant effort towards being faithful. That is my deep desire, to live a life of faithfulness. But let me tell ya, living life here has made me question that desire. Yet even in these darkest valleys, the Lord is good. He reminds me that it is truly one day at a time. A faithful day today is what matters. I need to let go of this desire and release the burdens of hardship and responsibility I feel about living here. He is wanting and waiting for me to meet Him here in the messiness. On the days where I feel too foreign to keep going, He tells me I belong. In the moments where I feel confident about this decision, He reminds me that He alone is carrying me through.
The valleys of culture shock are real, raw, and pretty ugly. But I serve a God who holds me while I’m there. The mountain tops of living overseas and experiencing new cultures, customs, and people are exciting. And I serve a God who celebrates with me there. As I strive to be continuously filled up with more of JC, my prayer is for you to do the same.
P.S. If you’re thinking about living overseas, listen when they tell you culture shock is inevitable. Take all the notes, listen to all the speakers, and prepare as much as possible. But when it hits you and you really experience it for the first time, don’t try to ignore it. Lean in to the tears and the smiles, the Lord is ever present and He will carry you through.