Dear Future Goer,
You might be feeling a bit overwhelmed, apprehensive, fearful, excited. I remember those emotions well. I remember feeling the small nudging and confirmations that God was pointing me to a life overseas. I remember the immense fear and anxiety that threatened to overtake me and stop me from listening to those whispers. But I also remember the peace I felt in making my decision to serve in Zambia for two years, following that still small voice of God. A mentor once advised me to ask myself this question when faced with a big decision: what would your decision be if it was made without fear, guilt, or shame? For me, the answer was simple. I would step out, trust God, and move overseas.
In these past two years, God has been immensely faithful and has grown and shaped me in many ways. One of the biggest things that I have learned in my time in Zambia is the art and practice of humility. Living abroad, you are going to have your fair share of humbling moments. Stumbling through the language, having to apologize for a cultural mishap, and getting on your knees and asking God to give you the strength and patience to live in a culture that is unfamiliar. Those humbling moments are beautiful. They brought me to a place of utter dependence on God. They taught me to see the beauty in Zambian culture. To live overseas, you will be humbled but in the best way possible.
Another thing I have learned is to live in the unknown, the uncomfortable, and the unpredictable. You never know what will happen in a culture that you weren’t born in. So many times, in Zambia I have had to be flexible and just take things as they come. This can be hard for someone who can be a bit of a control freak. But in those moments of unplanned events, God has a sneaky way of showing up and revealing himself. We have a saying here among the expats in Zambia that “it’s not wrong or bad it’s just different”. That is truly how you have to live in order to not go crazy. It goes back to that humility lesson I learned.
The last major lesson I learned started happening before I even moved on the field. Growing up in the church, missionaries were viewed as the best of the best Christians. When I was looking at doing missions, I didn’t think that it was the life for me. I wasn’t a good enough Christian. I didn’t read my Bible enough. I didn’t pray enough. I drank wine in the evenings. I didn’t feel like a missionary. I still don’t. At least not in the way that I thought of missionaries as a kid. God uses everyone. He uses us in our broken state not just despite our brokenness, but because of our brokenness. It’s in our brokenness that we pour out ourselves to others, and in that process, we might just become a little less broken. Your weaknesses do not discredit you from ministry. I think our greatest weaknesses are actually what become our ministry. God will work in and through you because he wants to. He chooses to. You are loved, accepted, and cherished by the Creator. You don’t have to get everything right before moving on the field. You will never be completely ready for a life overseas. I wasn’t. But God uses us anyway.
So, my final words of encouragement to you, dear Goer. It’s okay to feel afraid, anxious, excited, hopeful, grieved, and everything in between. Let yourself feel all the things, but don’t let them stop you from stepping out and trusting God. Take a breath. No really. Take a deep breath. God’s got this. You don’t need to do this on your own. You can’t do this on your own. But God is with you. He has his hand on your shoulder not to push you into something, but to come alongside you as you walk into an adventure. So in the words of Steven Curtis Chapman (that might be an old reference at this point), “saddle up your horses, we’ve got a trail to blaze…let’s follow our leader into the Glorious unknown”.
Hannah