Hey guys, Wow it has been 2 months of support raising. I call my support team Team Sunflower because Sunflowers are awesome lol.This time of raising support has been surprisingly really great for me. I love people, but I hate asking people to do stuff , and making plans. I’m in no way at all a chill nonchalant person (more like type-a neurotic). So it's not that it kills my vibe to make plans with people, It's just that making plans and sticking to them is really hard for me to do (enneagram - 7). So to me support raising would be really uncomfortable and really the opposite of how I am. Instead it has been so life-giving. I was not expecting the outpouring of love from that I have received. It has been completely overwhelming in the best possible way.
I tear up every time some says that want to give. I’m generally surprised for people to want to meet up with me. When I share my presentation with others and they want to support me monthly for 2 years I am mind blown. God has really surpassed all that I have thought about support raising. I have gotten to meet with people who knew me when I was in middle school , friends from highschool , friends from college , family members that I did even know, even my 7th grade language arts teacher is on my support team. It has been surreal.
With the highs of support raising comes the lows as well. As great as it all is it is way too easy to get caught up in the numbers game and miss out on all that is happening within ourselves. I have had to reevaluate my personal definition of success and failure. I constantly question myself. I question God. I wonder if this is the path for me. I get so overwhelmed , and filled with worry, stress and just plain fear for what is to come.
I was on instagram and I saw a post that said if you can worry about it then you can pray about it. I can't control everything but I can pray about anything. It has humbled me to show me that nothing is really in my control , not at all. I have to remind myself that God is in charge and He has always been in charge. God is in control.The post reminds me of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. Control (Somehow You Want Me) by Tenth Avenue North. I'm giving you a link so you don't have to go far to hear the song. The song teaches me that God does not need me, he wants me. God loves me, and that frees me to take my hands off of my life and the way it should go. God loves also frees me to open my hands up and give Him control.
Control (Somehow You Want Me) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFfztu8-bBQ