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These Words Are Not My Own

Posted on Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Batter my heart, three-person'd God

By John Donne

 

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town to another due,

Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov'd fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

If you’re into literature… take some time to read this sonnet… again and again. Read it in your head. Read it out loud. Read it using the punctuation for your pauses. Write down the words you don’t understand and define them. Read it again. Paraphrase each sentence in your mind. Read it again, and understand the meaning. Hear the beauty.

There’s just something… something about this struggle of life, that gets me when I read, “that I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me…” Like, maybe it was never intended that we actually walk on our own two feet… like, maybe my whole life, I’m never supposed to get it… like, this continual falling down, and struggling up, and falling down, and struggling up, is evidence of my essential dependence on God.

Paul thanked God for the thorn in his side that reminded him of his humanity. James said we should be full of joy when we experience troubles because these things help us develop endurance. But why do I feel like John Donne is the only person who actually took these words to heart? Why did it take me this long to hear them?

And I wasted so much time being disappointed in the falling… *smh*

Here’s a song about finding God in the waiting… the constant struggling of up and down… “He’s in the waiting,”

 

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