I Understand the Wind

I understand the wind.

One moment here and the other there.

It is restless, constant, silent in word and loud in action.

I understand the wind.

When it goes, it’s gone.

Oh wait, that’s a Paul Simon song.

I understand the wind.

Say, does it understand me?

I do hope it returns the sentiment.

 

What does it mean to understand the wind? Perhaps this question is abnormal. Perhaps you did not expect to be asked such a question. Yet, my question remains. What does it mean to understand the wind?

This question encompasses the past four years in my life. I have perceived that life on earth is but a striving after wind. My twenty-two-year-old ears hear this striving being glorified all around me. I am told that a college degree is a form of affirmation and meaning. I am told that a well-paying job in my field is a form of affirmation and meaning. I am told that a marriage with a large home is a form of affirmation and meaning.

Although many aspects of life innately have meaning, I find the striving to be continuous around me. I am watching humans scurry to my left and to my right as they seek to catch a relentless wind. This wind is not tangible. It is not attainable. It is not a fulfillment of life. And yet, striving after such a wind is expected of me.

Here I am; twenty-two and full of optimism. Here I am; a recent college grad with passion up to my ears. Here I am; asking God to show me what it looks like to forgo the wind. I am seeking to strive after God, alone.

The date is September 13, 2019. The view outside my window consists of falling rain and bustling tree leaves. My jean jacket is draping down my shoulders and back. I have tech-pop music streaming in my eardrums. I am whirling with both magnificent and mundane emotions and thoughts. I am seeking to strive after God, alone.

For the next 3 months, I will be connecting with people in my life and communicating how I am striving after Him. On February 15th, 2020, I will board a plane and fly to Berlin, Germany. I will land on beautiful ground that belongs to a nation full of beautiful people. I will live there for two years seeking to learn from them, create relationships with them and worship God alongside them. I am seeking to strive after God, alone.

There are many other details I could and should share. Such will come at a later time. In this exact moment, however, I am seeking to forgo all the forms of wind this world proclaims to be worth striving after. Instead, I choose to worship God’s holy and perfect name. I choose to call attention to how beautifully He works within the most mundane of moments and individuals. I choose to do so stateside, in Berlin and wherever my feeble feet take me. I am seeking to strive after God, alone.