How quickly I forget the gospel! I’ve been warned of the memory lapse I, with all believers, continually suffer Sunday after Sunday, but building the habit of reminding myself of it so as to not forget is much easier said than done.
Each month with Avance we are assigned a book; this month’s is “Gospel Fluency: Speaking the Truths of Jesus into the Everyday Stuff of Life.” I highly recommend it, especially on audio read by the author. Avance is going through a series of teachings about our identity as children of God, adopted, heirs. These gospel resources and my reflection on them (the little I’ve done, as I find it much easier to complete tasks than to consider the state of my heart) have brought to my awareness some of my false beliefs about God and myself that inform how I function and relate to Him and others. As I’ve listened and appreciated the truths shared in these writings, the truths have yet continued to feel elusive to my innermost being. There’s much more knowledge swirling around in my brain and not fully impressed on my heart than I like to imagine-- as well as pride associated with having these truths “right” in my head.
Often more present to me in the day-to-day, I must confess, are voices of condemnation, correction, and criticism that I attribute to God but are actually my own thoughts subtly naging in the enemy’s tone with the content of my former story and identity. The narrative keeps me behaving as if I am still enslaved to my brokenness and imperfection rather than forgiven, freed, loved, and adopted through the righteous incarnation, life, suffering, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ. This is the Truth: I am no longer a slave to sin, nor to striving to defeat it in myself, for that is not possible. God has rescued me from sin, the need to obey it, and from the need to earn acceptance, because His perfection is counted as mine.
And what does this mean about how He sees me, how He relates to me? Did He do all this begrudgingly, hoping that I would afterwards get my act together and be at least ok before approaching Him? No. John writes the words of Jesus in Chapter 10 of his Gospel account:
“10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”
Not only did Jesus willingly lay down His life for me because He cares for me deeply and tenderly, but God the Father, who is now my very own Daddy, sent Jesus to do this for me! There is no more room or need for God to be angry toward me, for all my sin was all laid on Jesus and God’s wrath poured out on Him. So my Father looks at me with delight and loving-kindness, longing for me to turn and return to Him rather than to my own efforts to be good enough.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love” (John 15:9).
Abba, You have made me your own. I can do nothing to earn this, past, present, or future, even if I were to work for all eternity. Transform my heart and renew my mind to believe-- to really, really believe, know, trust, and rely on the Truth of your love. I want to abide in Your love. May it not remain only knowledge-- may it change my internal narrative completely. Holy Spirit, remind me of this Gospel. I am in such great need for your transformation. Yet even in this very moment, I am already completely, wholly Beloved by You. Praise you, Father.