Remember that fish tank scene at the end of Finding Nemo? The tank gang has finally carried out their elaborate plan of escaping from the dentist office. As they find themselves sitting in the harbor just like they’d imagined, still in their plastic bags, the blowfish asks, “now what?”
That’s kind of what coming to Spain felt like. There was so much preparation and anticipation. Most of my focus was on the actual act of getting myself over here in the midst of visa drama, packing, and keeping my guitar from getting smashed on the airplane. And once I arrived, the first few weeks went by in a blur of meeting people and starting work while adjusting to a new culture and language. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve been able to step back and realize, Whoa, I live in Spain now! And suddenly I find myself in the same situation the tank gang. I’m exactly where I wanted to be, and it’s exciting! I made it! Now what?
When I first came over, I had so many unanswered questions: Where will I live? How do I choose a church? How can I integrate into the Spanish community and build relationships? What will my life look like here? By God’s grace, I have been able to apply Spain’s laid-back mindset to this situation and accept that I don’t need to fix everything right away. Now that I’m here, I really can’t predict the future in the midst of all the uncertainties. All I can do is start building my life here (cue Housefires track) and trust that God will open the right doors at the right time.
Every day is a new choice to trust God, and every day that looks different. Some days I’m really motivated to go out and meet people, and other days I feel too incompetent to go to the grocery store. Some days I can’t believe how blessed I am to be here, and others I just really miss my family and friends.
Part of me wishes I could just skip ahead a few months to a time where I have a more normal life and the security of established relationships. But for now, I’ve found peace in remembering God’s faithfulness in bringing me to this point in my life. If he called me here, he will fulfill his purposes for me. And in the meantime, there’s so much for me to learn; I get to see God’s power on display every day! So now what? I don’t know exactly. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.