Packing is a challenging process. Today after a Target run, I sighed at my mother in the parking lot. “This is too hard,” I said. “I’m just going to give up now.”
We both laughed, knowing that I’ve come too far to turn back. I’m four days from leaving on the biggest adventure of my life, one that has been more than a year in the making. I’m so excited that this is actually happening! It’s finally sunk in that in less than a week, I will be living in a new country, meeting new people, and adjusting to their culture.
As the day approaches, I don’t feel ready.
Despite preparing for the past 12 months, I’m nervous. There’s so, so much that I don’t know. I can say exactly four phrases in the local language. So, communicating beyond “hi” and “it’s nice to meet you,” is going to be a challenge. I have no idea what kind of food I’ll be eating on a daily basis. I have to figure out the rules of modesty in a Muslim culture. There’s just so much to learn!
But when my mind goes crazy with all the unknowns, the Lord steadies my heart. He speaks to me, saying “You are enough. I know exactly how I’ve made you. I’ve equipped you for this calling.”
I can’t expect to know it all. I wish I had all the answers and the cultural know-how, but that’s not how God has led me into this. I’m going as a learner. I’m entering with humility, and the need to depend on Him.
And I’m grateful for this posture. I’m grateful as He keeps bringing me back to it, bringing me back to complete surrender. When I’m here before Him, on my knees—that’s when I’m ready to receive. I’m ready to leave.